TOUCH NOT THE CAT BUT A GLOVE

Some men there are love not a gaping pig;/Some, that are mad if they behold a cat. William Shakespeare

Ed. Note: Below is the complete tale of the cat, which caused such a stir when sgginfo.com alluded to the incident last year. Pistrina has opted for the simplest, bare-bones narration of the notorious incident for two reasons.

First, we want the story to speak for itself. We know that everyone who reads it will be sickened at the behavior of so-called Catholic clergy. We also know that anyone who reads this sick tale will agree that the institution must be closed as a place unfit for young traditional Catholic men who may have a vocation to the priesthood.

Second, we want the story circulated throughout the world so young men will never risk losing their vocations and perhaps their faith at such a place. We hope the simplicity of language will facilitate translation into French, German, Italian, Spanish, Polish, and Russian. We ask native speakers of these languages to send their translations to pistrina.liturgica@gmail.com. The Readers are now working with a lay coalition of very prominent traditional Catholics, which will sponsor a multilingual website to warn Catholics of the dangers of this boys' industrial school for would-be priests. This story will be featured prominently as a solemn admonition.

Setting & Key: These events occurred on and around December 21, 2008. S1 = a seminarian from a former Iron-Curtain country; S2 = a seminarian from Central Europe; S3 = a seminarian from Western Europe. The other dramatis personae are known to Pistrina's audience from previous posts.

• S1, an Eastern European unused to animals living in a house, disliked the Rector’s cat, which the Rector allowed to roam freely in the kitchen; as a prank, S1 sprayed the cat’s head with a mixture of insecticide and liquid soap.
• Soon after, the Prefect saw the cat soaking wet, took photographs with his cell phone, and called the Rector (who was off campus) for advice.
• The Rector e-mailed S1 and demanded information.
• The Prefect assembled the seminarians, showed them the photos, and began the questioning.
• S3 had been studying at the time of the incident but knew that S1 had soaked the cat.
• S2 explained the situation to S3, who then called (by long distance) his Spiritual Adviser, a priest and faculty member, for guidance.
• The Spiritual Adviser counseled him not to denounce S1 but advised him to ask S1 to denounce himself to the Rector and Prefect.
• The Prefect continued his inquiries, and even interrogated a seminarian who only that morning had been able to leave his sickbed.
• When the Rector returned, he asked everyone to denounce the one who poured water on the cat. S1 affirmed that he did not pour water on the cat, and then offered to affirm his declaration on the Holy Bible.
• The Rector assembled the three seminarians again and announced that he did not want in his institution a “sick seminarian" who would pour water on a cat.
• Later, two of the seminarians decided to leave the seminary; they met with other seminarians to discuss how crazy the seminary was. They were careful to leave the informal meeting separately because they suspected they were being watched secretly.
• When S1, S2, S3 returned to their rooms, they found the doors locked.
• The Prefect and his Assistant accosted the seminarians outside their rooms; the Prefect uncontrollably screamed at them. Then the Prefect accused them of demonic possession and swore that the faculty knew from the beginning that the three intended to destroy the seminary.
• Shortly afterward, a frightened S1 told S2 and S3 to prepare to leave within one hour. They agreed, for it seemed to them that the Prefect was capable of anything in his rage.
• S2 and S3 hurriedly packed their suitcases; meanwhile the Rector spoke to S1. In spite of the voluntary decision of S1, S2 and S3 to leave, the Rector officially expelled all three.
• At first, the Rector refused to allow anyone to drive the seminarians that night to the airport, but S1 insisted on leaving. The Rector then declared he never wanted to see them again, as the Prefect laughed aloud.
• Owing to the disturbance, a Good Priest came running from the library and brought a vehicle to drive the three frightened, expelled seminarians to the airport. The Prefect and his Assistant were seated in the back seat; they said nothing during the hour-long drive to the airport.
• At the airport, as the Good Priest solemnly conferred upon the traumatized young men his priestly blessing, the Prefect and his Assistant were heard laughing about something. The young men all returned to their countries.

Epilogue

A few weeks later, S1, a favorite of the Rector, was allowed to return to the seminary despite the Rector’s own rule that no dismissed seminarian could ever return. Later the Rector dismissed his pet S1 for the second time from the seminary when he learned that S1 had posted on the web photos of himself seated in a confessional wearing a violet stole (as a joke, in the company of a friend).

Just before this posting, Pistrina learned that the (Novus Ordo) Institute Christ the King and High Priest prejudicially denied S1 admission to its seminary in Italy. The Good Priest is no longer associated with the Rector, having recently become independent.