THE BRAINS OF THE CURRICULUM

Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking about them.  Whitehead

Practical, demonstrated knowledge informs our clerical vocational training program. The sole aim is to enable trainees to administer the sacraments with competent ease. There's no false pretense that we're producing anything like pre-Vatican II priests. We know it can't be done, at least not in American sede circles. (If you want first-rate performance, go to an FSSP or SSPX chapel.)

The facts are simple: there's no professionally trained cadre of instructors to make it happen in Sedelandia USA. We've seen that the self-taught, embarrassingly unprofessional "professoriate" has too many yawning gaps in its little learning to manage an authentic program of priestly formation.  (Not knowing the difference between a noun and an adjective is just the tip of the iceberg of ignorance: the Blunderer's Work of Human Hands shows how deep it goes.) Let's face it: the faithful really don't need classically formed priests during the crisis anyway. What they do need for their salvation is clergy more competent than the malformed Pesthouse completers and their poseur "instructors." (They also don't need grasping servants of Mammon, either.)

Therefore, the second and final year of our program focuses exclusively on mastery of the performance skills that normal Catholics expect a priest to possess. Our products may be "sacrament machines," but the laity will at least not be scandalized by gross clerical ineptitude. (Pity the shaken folks who noticed their Pesthouse priest had forgotten the consecration at Mass and who afterward had to endure his chastisement from the pulpit for "causing" the defect.) Under our program, emotionally mature priests will land at a chapel ready to hit the ground running.

That will be a nice change of pace, don't you think?

FIRST QUARTER

Conferral of the Subdiaconate

How to Say Low Mass and Low Requiem Mass (4 hrs./wk)  Step by step study, modeling, and guided practice of the correct actions, gestures, and postures required for a decent praxis faithful to the rubrics. The subdeacon will also learn how to interpret the traditional ordo.

Review of Moral and Dogmatic Theology (4 hrs./wk.) Systematic review of key concepts studied in the first year's survey courses. The emphasis will be on moral theology for the confessional.
How to Organize and Manage a Successful Catechism Program (1 hr./wk.) Guidance on selecting materials, monitoring instruction, and assessing performance.

Memory Lab (1 hr./wk.) Memorizing the memoriter scienda, the prayers and formulae a priest needs to have learned by heart for the competent administration of the sacraments.

Daily Recitation of the Divine Office (In English)

SECOND QUARTER

Conferral of the Diaconate

Independent and Observed Practice Sessions in Saying Low Mass (4 hrs./wk.) The deacon is expected to practice independently the celebration of Low Mass in preparation for a weekly scored observation by a veteran priest or knowledgeable layman.

How to Counsel Couples Intending Marriage (1 hr./wk.) Practical guidance on  preparing for the sacrament of holy matrimony. In particular, the deacon will learn how not to behave.

How to Administer the Sacraments and Sacramentals (3 hrs./wk.)  Baptism. Marriage Ceremony. Visiting the Sick. Last Rites. Conducting Graveside Services. Confirmation. Blessings (with emphasis on blessing holy water).

Memory Lab (1 hr./wk.) Memorizing the memoriter scienda, the prayers and formulae a priest needs to have learned by heart for the competent administration of the sacraments.

Daily Recitation of the Divine Office (In English)

THIRD QUARTER

Conferral of the Presbyterate

Analysis and Critique of Mass Daily (7 hrs./wk) The new priest will celebrate Low Mass each day under the supervision and guidance of a veteran priest and/or knowledgeable layman, who will provide feedback.
How to Conduct Holy Week in Small Churches (3 hrs./wk.) The priest will practice how to carry out the ceremonies of Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday.
How to Hear Confessions (2 hr./wk.) A veteran priest will coach and prepare the new priest to hear confessions and administer the sacrament of penance.
Memory Lab (1 hr./wk.) Memorizing the memoriter scienda, the prayers and formulae a priest needs to have learned by heart for the competent administration of the sacraments.
Daily Recitation of the Divine Office (In English)

FOURTH QUARTER

Analysis and Critique of Mass Daily (7 hrs./wk.) The priest will say Low Mass each day under the supervision of a veteran  priest or a knowledgeable layman, who will provide feedback.
How to Hear Confessions (2 hrs./wk.) A veteran priest will coach and prepare the priest to administer the sacrament of penance. Toward the end of the quarter, the priest will hear confessions.
Mariology (2 hrs./wk.) The science of the person and role of the BVM in her relationship with the Incarnation and Redemption. The priest will especially learn why the manipulative sentimentalism of one infamous Traddie bishop is an impiety.

Memory Lab (1 hr./wk.) Memorizing the memoriter scienda, the prayers and formulae a priest needs to have learned by heart for the competent administration of the sacraments.

Daily Recitation of the Divine Office (In English)

You may have noticed the omission of two subjects: canon law and homiletics.

After almost 50 years, no one knows which canons apply now, and, furthermore, there's no jurisdiction in the Sede Vacante, so consequently there're no judges to consider cases or enforce sanctions. As for sermons, there are plenty of old books with scripted 10-15-minute orthodox, Catholic sermons for every Sunday and holy day of the year. Even some of the more lucid completers use such resources freely. Since we expect that our priests will have full-time jobs in the public or private sectors, they can save precious time by choosing models composed by priests trained in the "good, old days." The faithful will benefit from the excellent content and will no longer have to sit through bewildering, interminable monologues on whatever suits the preacher's fancy that day.