It's a new year.
Some of you who didn't keep your 2015 resolution to leave the SW Ohio cult may be looking for a fresh reason to renew the vow in 2016. Obviously all the hair-raising stories of un-Catholic behavior, cupidity, and stupidity haven't worked. So we looked around for something different, something more concrete to revive your will power.
We knew it had to be simple and direct, because all our grand, elaborate arguments were, perhaps, too ethereal. Furthermore, it had to be something small, for as experience teaches, it's usually the little stuff that brings down the whole structure. So we searched and searched and searched for precisely the right-sized straw to break the irresolute camel's back. Then, lo and behold, as we read last week's "Bishop's (?) Corner," we knew we'd found it, when Wee Dan whispered:
The F sharp on our organ has been coaxed back in time for Midnight Mass.This, we remind you, is the new organ —well, old-new at any rate— that Deacon Dan just bought for Checkie in early 2015 to replace an older instrument that could've been repaired. They haven't owned the $5K-$6K instrument for a year, and it's broken already! In the midst of high heating bills, they button-holed the laity for thousands of dollars to pay for Tony's new toy, and it almost wasn't ready for His Extravagancy's biggest, gaudiest, bling-laden show of 2015.
What in the blazes is going on there?
Dirtbag Dan's seemingly insignificant disclosure should convince everyone that the cult masters cannot do anything right. The itch to spend the Gerties' money on unnecessary acquisitions must be so intense that these madcap spendthrifts throw all caution to the whirlwind when they're on a shopping spree. Maybe they're careless because they expect the laity to bail them out when their impulsive choices prove ill-considered. Whatever the motive, "One Hand's" miniature revelation furnishes the perfect incentive for you to leave the cult this year.
The key broken so soon after the organ's unnecessary purchase condemns these men as unwise stewards of the resources of the faithful. It's another sad episode in their unbroken record of failures large and small. When they built the steadily crumbling cult center, the roof they put on proved a disaster. Now they can't find an exterminator capable of ridding them of a dangerous raccoon infestation, which seems to be getting worse with each issue of "Bishop's (?) Corner." A couple of years ago, the heating bills were so high they had to hustle special donations to cover a bill for which they should have budgeted. Yet there's always money-to-burn for luxury foreign travel, which doesn't end after they undergo the inevitable falling-out with their fed-up hosts. His Recrudescency always seems to find another far-away nest of calculating trads eager to take advantage of Dannie's irresponsible largesse (funded, of course, by you).
The need to repair the organ so soon after its reckless purchase tells you Dannie's got the wrong priorities. As many chastened former cultlings have learned, these "clergy" are not there to serve the faithful. In fact, the situation is quite the opposite. The faithful are there to supply the cash to satisfy the wastrels' "champagne wishes and caviar dreams."All the over-the-top seasonal spectacles with their meretricious glitter and shop-window tinsel are mounted primarily for the clerical scavengers' love of tacky theatrics and hearty self-congratulation. Any spiritual reward for the faithful is merely an inducement to surrender more money, to be wasted, in turn, on brutal whims and imprudent purchases, which wind up costing you yet more money.
Don't you think it's time to stop being played for a sucker? These heedless men-children cannot husband the resources you so selflessly provide. In addition, you may not be receiving valid sacraments in exchange for your financial sacrifice. If you stay at SGG, you'll only encourage more bad decision-making and waste, like the old-new organ that came within a gnat's whisker of embarrassing silence on "One-Hand" Dan's last holiday lollapalooza for 2015. Why not make it your last one, too?