NO HIGH FLYER

Sir! You have disappointed us! Belloc

Flying in low with the engine cut, way, way under the radar, the rector’s shot-to-pieces May newsletter crash-landed on the Saturday of the long Memorial Day weekend. It was a sacrifice mission: the flier sported less than two pages of the usual stale, warmed over, oft repeated, hackneyed denunciations of Karol Wojtyła.* There were no pix of the noisome pesthouse, its fly-blown environs, the rector’s savage and pampered cat, or the hell-hole’s unhappy inhabitants. Notably missing was the long-promised proposal for raking in another $30,000 per annum to replace the forever-lost supplementary funds. The stealth arrival was clearly an attempt to dodge incoming flak.

Everybody is speculating why the rector didn’t deliver on his threat. It certainly wasn’t an oversight. How could the acquisitive rector ever forget about $30K? And why was he soooo late in getting out the newsletter? The last weekend of May for the May newsletter? Come on! And why did he spend all that money on printing and mailing for such a pitifully weak effort? If he got cold feet about demanding so much to prop up his failing vocational training program, why didn’t he just call the whole thing off?

It’s beyond reason that such a bold and practiced parasite would lose his nerve. Could it be that he’s found a way around asking for the money?

Don’t be fooled by the apparent absent-minded incompetence. The ol’ Flushing Rat isn’t going to abandon so easily his flights of fancy for interior decoration, conspicuous consumption, and sheer wastefulness. He may have stayed back in the swamp, but he hasn’t forgotten about – not for a minute — all that cash, glorious cash. Perhaps he thinks that with summer almost here, we’ll neglect to watch him carefully.

We won’t. In fact, we’ve tasked individuals and families who will be traveling on vacation to stop by the rector’s and his friends’ chapels to look for the tracks and droppings that signal fund-raising activity. They’ll be especially vigilant for special collection notices and pay-off-the-building-debt appeals. In addition, they’ll keep their eyes peeled for tell-tale contribution envelopes.

Let’s teach the rector that rats can’t fly. You can join us in clipping the rector’s wings before he clips the faithful. Send all reports and scanned materials to pistrina.liturgica@gmail.com. If we all do our part, we can

STARVE THE BEAST & CLOSE THE PESTHOUSE

* The Reader invites the rector to note the correct Polish orthography, with the diacritic kreska ukośna.