The rector, our moles inform us, never tires of haranguing the pesthouse's pathologically credulous inmates on how very necessary a seminary formation is. It's almost an article of faith down in the lurid, fly-blown swamp. Yet, we find ourselves asking, if a seminary formation is essential, then why does the Flushing Rat allow "One Hand" to bring onto MHT's premises his new Bay-State protégé -- a man who never underwent formal seminary training? (For details, see last week's post below about "One Hand's" transgressive poison-pen letter.)
You'd think the ol' rector would never suffer the impressionable, feeble-minded inmates to come into contact with an outsider who obtained his orders without having set foot on a seminary. (Guided study is not a seminary formation*, in spite of what this Newbie might think.) Furthermore, it's not as though the Newbie was unaware of the existence of the pesthouse when he chose to take a shortcut to orders by apprenticing under a priest out West. Other wannabes who had college degrees later did time at the pesthouse, so you can't say he was just catching up on a few odds and ends he missed in his secular state university program. In fact, one wonders why, when the Newbie decided he "had to move towards going to seminary," he didn't get into contact with the rector right away. What kept him from applying? (The rector wouldn't like the answer, we assure you. He wouldn't like it one little bit! No, siree!)
Also, we wonder why, after the Newbie separated from the priest out West and found sanctuary at the SW Ohio cult center, Dannie did not insist he spend a year or two enduring the flies, heat, torrential storms, and mosquitoes at the swampland pesthouse. (At least he could have done a summer internship.) Shouldn't the Newbie first have "settled down to seminary life" (a phrase from "One Hand's" Nov. 21 nasty-gram)?
Dannie and goof-prone, "seminary professor" Tony Baloney are committed to the same formational philosophy as the rector, aren't they? We thought the Terrible Trio had shared interests! Insofar as the rector stuck out his neck to save "One Hand" from becoming a big-box-store greeter during the 2009 SGG School Scandal, doesn't Deacon Dan have an obligation to support the swampland "seminary" mission by sending "Big Don" at least the Americans he plans to "ordain"? We're sure the rector would have welcomed with open and admiring arms a candidate who, by his own report, graduated with two degrees!
Also, we wonder why, after the Newbie separated from the priest out West and found sanctuary at the SW Ohio cult center, Dannie did not insist he spend a year or two enduring the flies, heat, torrential storms, and mosquitoes at the swampland pesthouse. (At least he could have done a summer internship.) Shouldn't the Newbie first have "settled down to seminary life" (a phrase from "One Hand's" Nov. 21 nasty-gram)?
Dannie and goof-prone, "seminary professor" Tony Baloney are committed to the same formational philosophy as the rector, aren't they? We thought the Terrible Trio had shared interests! Insofar as the rector stuck out his neck to save "One Hand" from becoming a big-box-store greeter during the 2009 SGG School Scandal, doesn't Deacon Dan have an obligation to support the swampland "seminary" mission by sending "Big Don" at least the Americans he plans to "ordain"? We're sure the rector would have welcomed with open and admiring arms a candidate who, by his own report, graduated with two degrees!
Yet in one published image, we see this well-nourished stranger to seminary life plopped down in a pesthouse group photo as though he belonged among them. Also, on the web, we think we spied him in sacred vestments at the Rev. Mr. Nkamuke's "ordination" in the pesthouse chapel. What kind of example does this offer to the distempered inmates, who must endure Scut the Prefect's flinty discipline, the energy-sapping drudgery of menial household chores, servile waiting upon the feeding cult masters, and mind-draining kitchen-police work?
If the rector truly believed a seminary formation were so fundamental and if that belief had risen to the level of principle, then it would seem that, as a matter of conscience, he could not allow a man so irregularly "formed" to cross the buzzing threshold of the pesthouse compound. The McNewbie's haphazard preparation for the priesthood should represent everything against which the rector has devoted both his life and the treasure of his benefactors, shouldn't it?
If the rector truly believed a seminary formation were so fundamental and if that belief had risen to the level of principle, then it would seem that, as a matter of conscience, he could not allow a man so irregularly "formed" to cross the buzzing threshold of the pesthouse compound. The McNewbie's haphazard preparation for the priesthood should represent everything against which the rector has devoted both his life and the treasure of his benefactors, shouldn't it?
By now, everybody knows not to forage for consistent, principled action in the company of the Grand High Panjandrum and the Right Worshipful Poobah of Tradistan. Still it might be worth venturing a wild guess at motive, if only for the mental exercise: Could it be the rector senses that "One Hand" may be grooming this roughly formed but smooth-talking Johnny-come-lately as his successor? It's obvious to anyone that the other two flunkies carrying water for Dannie and the Blunderer aren't up to the challenge of keeping the cult center operating to support a comfortable, care-free retirement for "One Hand" in the chic and arty Southwest.
Perhaps the rector, acutely sensitive to the buttered side of his bread, calculated there's no need to ruffle the feathers of the turkey who may, one day not so very far off, be in charge of the cult-center collections and the checkbook. Everybody knows that alumni are more disposed to support their alma mater: What motivation is there for a non-completer like the Newbie except to pretend he's one of the old gang and hope for some handouts later?
Self-interested "Big Don" certainly doesn't want to jeopardize those periodic remittances of the laity's hard-earned cash. In Traddielandia, where King Mammon reigns sovereign, the smarter cult masters -- that excludes the Bonehead, whose offbeat theological antics (for starters, think Terri Schiavo, Leonine prayers, and una cum) have visited big-dollar setbacks on the cult -- know it's always in their best interest to park their shape-shifting principles at the door when there's a risk of losing a few bucks. That's also why the rector still plays the hireling to an Arizona lay board despite his firm resolve against lay governance.
As they might might say in certain worldly-wise, New-York neighborhoods: Principles-schmincibles!
Perhaps the rector, acutely sensitive to the buttered side of his bread, calculated there's no need to ruffle the feathers of the turkey who may, one day not so very far off, be in charge of the cult-center collections and the checkbook. Everybody knows that alumni are more disposed to support their alma mater: What motivation is there for a non-completer like the Newbie except to pretend he's one of the old gang and hope for some handouts later?
Self-interested "Big Don" certainly doesn't want to jeopardize those periodic remittances of the laity's hard-earned cash. In Traddielandia, where King Mammon reigns sovereign, the smarter cult masters -- that excludes the Bonehead, whose offbeat theological antics (for starters, think Terri Schiavo, Leonine prayers, and una cum) have visited big-dollar setbacks on the cult -- know it's always in their best interest to park their shape-shifting principles at the door when there's a risk of losing a few bucks. That's also why the rector still plays the hireling to an Arizona lay board despite his firm resolve against lay governance.
As they might might say in certain worldly-wise, New-York neighborhoods: Principles-schmincibles!
THE DANNIE-DONNIE CABAL IS WAY PAST ITS EXPIRATION DATE. TOSS IT OUT NOW.
* For the record: Pistrina is not at all averse to such a formation. It's far better than the current fiction of Trad "seminaries" as genuine institutions of sacred learning. (Think of the forgetful "Skipper" in Michigan or the Frenchman who couldn't bless holy water without a crisis). The Readers merely wish to make public "One Hand's" and the rector's hypocrisy.
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