...Ex ore infantium... ["out of the mouth of babes"]. St. Matthew
Editor's Note: In May, you'll recall, a high-school Latin II class wrote in about the DISORDERED ORDO series. We Readers were so impressed with the interest that we invited the teacher to provide a "guest Reader" for the June posting. (Hence the feature's earlier-than-usual appearance this month.)
Seeing that our youthful fans attend a real, accredited school with a certificated, degree-holding teaching staff and not a paddle-happy Tradistani train wreck, we expected —and received — good work. As you'll see in their efforts below, Checkie has officially become a high-school punchline.
N.B. Last names and school name have been withheld. We've also entered a few editorial explanations as well as altered the order of the e-mails, which we stitched together for ease of reading. We'll let our readership decode the teenspeak for themselves. (We had to ask relatives.)
Julie and Ahuva here. The "mean girls" from Ms. [X's] Latin II class. Thanks for letting us Guest Reader your blog. If we do a good job our teacher will give extra credit. PLEASE PLEASE get back to her before you guys post this!!! The school year is almost over. The kids in our class are high achievers... A 90 around here is like a C+😜...
We don't understand all that Catholic stuff but the Latin posts rock. Ahuva is Jewish and my family is Unitarian Universalist... Nobody in class gets emo over your "ferocity" like those wimps [in the comments section, Ed.]... You old dudes are dope and your posts are gnarly... Both of us plan to take the AP [Advanced Placement, Ed.]. Latin Course and Exam later on and study some Classics in college...
Our teacher didn't tell you we created the ERRONEOUS ANTONIUS AWARD for dumb mistakes. Ahuva's brother drew this sketch from creepy web images and printed out 100s of stickers.
When we correct our work in class we put a sticker on the paper if there's a "howler" as you guys call it. Then we throw shade on the guilty kid, point and sing "er-RON-e-ous an-TON-i-us!!!"😏 It's like ROTFL.
Our school is super competitive which is why other classes want the stickers. The "bro club" in Latin IV made T-shirts that say: STUDY OR END UP LIKE with the "Erroneous Antonius" face underneath. On the back it says DON'T BE A N00B...
For our DISORDERED ORDO we each picked out two errors from "Moneyman Dan's" ORDO 2016...
Pax and שָׁלוֹם, All Knowing Readers: Dumb Dan doesn't know much about subject-verb agreement. 3rd graders know plural nouns take plural verbs and in Latin I like in the 1st week we learned plural subjects of plural verbs are nominative plural.
Uncanny Dannie must never have gone to school or else why did he say [on page 49, Ed.] "Si plures Missas habetur." If his parents sent him to a real school, he would have written "Si plures Missae habentur." Goyim trash hate education.😵 [N.B. Dannie meant to say in Latin "If several Masses are held," but instead of writing the nominative plural Missæ + the 3rd. person plural verb habentur, His Deficiency used the accusative plural noun and the 3rd person singular. Wee Dan's crazy Latin translates something like "If it is had several Masses." Huh? Very, very illiterate. Ed.]
Also Little Endorphn Dannie can't decline 3rd declension nouns. The tool wrote [on p. 94, Ed.] "cum unica oratio", the nominative instead of the ablative "oratione!" [N.B. There's no period after "oratio" in "One Hand's" ordo, so it's clearly not an abbreviation. The Wee One's key to abbreviations lists "or" for "oratio." Ahuva nailed Dim Dan fair and square. You go, girl! Ed.]
Reader didn't they have special ed classes back in the 1950's? In public school he could have gotten help...
All "One Hand" can make is mistakes. When we get back for Latin III in Sept., we want to start a new "award" for students that don't make an effort. It's called the DANNIE DON'T CARE PRIZE. People like him bring down our school test scores. We have to drag those kind to the ground.👎
My brother printed tons of stickers. Nobody wants to be an ERRONEOUS ANTONIUS and nobody will want to win the DANNIE DON'T CARE PRIZE.
BTW my brother asked what you think about the Latin [inscription written on the caricature, Ed.]. He bet Julie and me you "ole timers" know where he got it from...
I want to back Ahuva. "One Hand Dan" is clueless about the 3rd declension. Did he flunk Latin I? [On p. 74 next to 18 Feria V, Ed.] I found "de Assumptionis". It should be "de Assumptione" [ablative singular, Ed.]. Did he think "is" is ablative plural? Can some body tell him "Assumptionis" is genitive singular.
The next error is [on page 34 next to 25 Feria VI, Ed.] where Dimwit Dan wrote "Crux Altari tegitur" for "The Cross of the Altar is covered". I looked it up, there is no such word as "altarus, -i" in Latin [i.e., a second declension form, Ed.]. Webster says "altar" is from "altare" and my teacher says it's 3rd declension. That means Lame Dan should write "Crux Altaris tegitur". It weirds me out when a priest cannot decline the Catholic word for "altar." Our new name for the Dirtbag is DECLENSION DEPRIVED DANNIE 👿...
Thanks for making Latin way live. Here is a totally savage drawing of DISCIPLINE DONNIE. We can't think of an award to use it on. Our school is upper middle class so we don't have all the acting out the low class cult "schools" do. All of us are college bound... Our parents are top professionals with degrees. Julie's dad is an MBA and her mom is a PhD psychologist. My stepfather is a podiatrist and my mom is a lawyer. We know how to act in school. If you want you can give it to the priest or nun who hands out the most whacks. The cults can hold the "Paddle Games" for the national championship. LOL
Nicely done, ladies. Full marks, we'd say. We concur: it's a disgrace that a "priest" can't write the correct genitive singular of the later Latin word for the Christian altar. But then, "One Hand" may not be a priest. 😱
Before closing, we think our DISORDERED ORDO series must be making Dannie self-conscious. In the June 5 $GG bulletin, we came across what may be a new feature called "KNOW YOUR LATIN." It's clearly an attempt to convince the Gerties that Dannie and his clown crew are true Latin experts despite all our solid evidence that they aren't.
As usual, Li'l Daniel only succeeds in showing how much he doesn't know. Take the following, for example (our emphases):
With its conjugations and declensions, Latin can seem intimidating to learn. But it’s as simple as two plus two equals four. No, really: Plus is a Latin preposition. It means “more.”Sorry, Dumbo Dan, but plus is not a preposition in Latin: it's either a noun or an adverb. It's in English where plus is used as a preposition — and sometimes as an adjective or, depending on the register, as a noun or even as a conjunction. (And if Latin is so simple, why didn't Your Inaccuracy and Checkie learn it?)
In another example of ignorance of both English and Latin, we read (emphases ours):
Like plus, minus was used for subtraction starting in the Middle Ages. It means “less” in Latin and is formed on the comparative adjective, minor ...No, again, Dannie... plus was never "used for subtraction": plus, meaning "increased by," is used for addition. Therefore, minus, meaning "decreased by, less," is not "like" plus in the way His Incompetency's sloppy writing suggests. The word minus is like plus in the sense that it's a Latin word, become an English preposition, used to indicate an arithmetic operation.
In addition, minus is not "formed on the comparative adjective." It IS a comparative adjective*: minor is the nominative singular masculine and feminine comparative used for parvus -a -um, and minus is the neuter nominative and accusative singular comparative used for parvus -a -um. In its English usage as a preposition (or in Latin as an adverb or a noun), it's like plus.
Deficient Dan and Bonehead Tone have got to stop talking about Latin altogether. Not even the Gerties are impressed. The Beevis and Butthead of Tradilandia will never know their Latin. Like most other things in their shallow lives, it's beyond their limited capacities. Latin should be left to real Catholics — and to bright, educated young people from other dispensations.
*Actually, as Palmer explains, "minus is, properly speaking, not a comparative at all, but a neuter substantive..." (The Latin Language, p. 253), and both plus and minus as adverbs are "fossilized...[a]ccusatives" of nouns (p. 282). But if His Insufficiency can't get the 3rd. declension right, how could we expect him to be conversant with Latin philology? C'mon, folks: don't fall for anything this ignoramus tells you: chances are, it'll be wrong.