CLOTHED WITH ROTTENNESS

All men that are ruined are ruined on the side of their natural propensities. Burke

If you're searching for a sign heralding the doom of the decrepit SW Ohio cult, then read what Dannie wrote in last week's "Bishop's (?) Corner":

Easter is late this year, so we have all of February for Lenten planning. I’d be grateful for any suggestions about times or services. Not that many keep even the old Friday evening tradition of Lenten Stations, much less our church suppers and recollections. What would work for you? 

When the cult masters were riding high and mighty, they never asked for lay input. Without a care for the laity's convenience, druthers, or comfort, they imposed the schedule of crypto fund-raising and banqueting events they preferred. Before the 2009 SGG School Scandal, they could count on the culties to schlep their scabies-infested young'uns and a covered dish of greasy victuals to Dannie's Lenten Friday food jamborees, where he and his gluttonous "clergy" would graze for free.

Those halcyon days, as "One Hand" seems to admit, are gone with the wind they all used break after the legume-laden, crucifier-crammed feeds. The victims clearly want no part of the cult's side shows. If we had to guess, we'd say they've already spurned some alternatives Dannie's come up with to fill the Friday-night vacuum. Otherwise, why would the Wee One step out of character to stoop to solicit the groundlings's opinion?

"My-Way-Or-The-Highway" Dan must be worried sick. He's got a clown crew of four hungry mouths to feed and at least one bloated gut to stuff. If the Gerties are having nothing to do with his Lenten schemes to fill his "clergy's" insatiable maws, the "Young Fathers" may defect to Tradzilla's new clerical institute (LOL), where the eatin' is better— and organic. (That is, if the Donster'll have those misfits, one of whom didn't even attend a fake Tradistani "seminary.")

Although we have the utmost contempt for Li'l Dan, we'll never believe he's unaware of the danger staring him in the face. To the contrary. He's terrified by the poor Friday potluck turnouts. He knows it means the Gerties have lost interest in his flyblown operation. That spells certain ruination. For now, they'll assist at the (probably simulated) Sunday Masses, but it may not be for long. There are so many better choices in the Cincinnati area. In fact, he may have heard what we did: during past Lents, furtive Gerties have been spotted at Friday devotions offered by SGG's direct competitors.

This latest appeal won't have any effect. No one's going to tell him what "would work." Not because the cultlings don't know. They do. What "would work" is dismissing the "principal," shuttering crummy SGG "School," and sending Tony Baloney down to the Swampland. Add to that a massive austerity program to reduce expenses at rundown SGG, which would entail getting rid of the idle, resource-consuming "Young Fathers." They could be shunted out of state to depraved chapels that would pay and house them, thus relieving Gerties of the burden.

But that's something Dannie won't and CAN'T do, especially the part about the "principal." His Impotency doesn't dare. That would cause the ship to go down with its captain. Therefore, the Wee One will have to undergo the slow torture of watching his cult rot away leper-like, piece of putrefying flesh by piece. The Dirty Gerties are tired. Physically. Financially. Morally. Five adult male "clergy" do nothing to help with the drudge work. The moldering, vermin-filled cult center is a bottomless money pit. The weekly revelations of bad behavior make even the riffraff cultlings feel unclean.

Under these circumstances, Gerties don't want to stop by the feculent cult center any more than they have to. Furthermore, there's nothing to motivate the Gertie Gals to do all the extra cooking required for assistance at the "Friday evening tradition" of "our church suppers." Remember, if you're a cult zombie, you don't just make the stations and head on back to your shack. No way! His Appetency expects you to tie on his feedbag for him at the obligatory feast following the show.

Actually, the show's the pretext for the food. And you know Dirtbag Dan yearns for more than the "sooooooooop" he's always cooing about (even when he's in Mexico gorging on "copious quantities of meat" in Lent).  If it was flesh-mortifying Lenten soup he wanted, the "clergy" could put on a big pot of water with rank veggies, rip open a couple of boxes of stale saltines, and spread 'em with the rancid margarine from their mouse-ridden fridge. But Li'l Daniel's counting on Gertie gals saying to themselves, "Ah ain't lettin' Pa 'n' the kee-uds jes' have sum nasty, watery soo-oup. Ah'll fix 'em up a broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage 'n' three-bean cass'role with a big ol' slab o' Velveeta!" (Fond memories of youth, no doubt.)

Before Dannie, Checkie, and the "principal" dashed their illusions in 2009, the SW Ohio rite-trash were willing to play the catering game. No more.  From here on out, they're staying put on Friday nights. (At least the air will be somewhat fresher.)

Yet Dannie will resist the message. He'll continue to reach out, and each time he does, it'll mean his predicament's becoming increasingly untenable. With Gertie morale deader than a roadkill dog, something will have to happen soon.

Let's hold our noses and watch as SGG decomposes over this year, shall we?