Saturday, December 16, 2017

GETTING READY FOR HIS CLOSEUP

It takes time to ruin a world, but time is all it takes. Fontenelle

Maybe it's the approaching year's end, we're not sure, yet PL's still on a predicting jag. Over the past weeks, we've foretold the oncoming ruination of the TradWorld order and its replacement by a different class of "bishops" who value freedom of conscience and aren't in it for the money.

Our earlier forecasts were big-picture visions, so today we'll shorten the range of our hypothesizing to focus on the event that will mark the end of Tradistan and signal the beginning of a new age for American trads: the 2018 "consecration" of the Boy-"Bishop"-Elect.

Don't take our word for the significance of this milestone: Look at what "One-Hand Dan" wrote in last week's "Corner":
Fr. Cekada had a good week at the Seminary. He was MC at my consecration, and has copious notes and diagrams to help the seminarians organize Fr. Selway’s.   
If we're to believe what Dan's note implies, the whole of the Swampland must be involved in making that "pontifical" pageant the biggest, grandest, most over-the-top extravaganza rheumy-eyed cult zombies have ever stared at. Even Dannie and the Cheeseball seem to be trying to insert themselves into the narrative (where they're probably unwelcome — in all likelihood, Junior doesn't want the Wee One's blessing and may look with horror on any suggestion that it's been given).

The Gruesome Twosome is well aware that the Kid was the one in charge of the Donster's "consecration," so he already has Checkie's script and storyboard. In addition, Junior's got a video recording of Big Don's 2002 shindig for visual reference.

Obviously, then, Checkie's as useless as a grave robber in a crematorium.  (Maybe further attempts to meddle won't be tolerated: the swampies are nursing loads of bitter memories about the pesthouse construction.)  Nevertheless, it's a token of the great significance of the upcoming sideshow that in order to get ready for Junior's episcopal début they're wasting precious hours that ought to be devoted to sacred learning and study.  That fact alone inspires the Readers to guess!

Indulge us, therefore, as we engage in a little preliminary speculation.

As we've said, it will be a day like no other in customarily mirthless Tradistan. The Kid may not be a theological or intellectual powerhouse, but that's of no consequence. What's important is that the event be the most spectacular cult production ever mounted. We think it may be live streamed so Sedelandia U.S.A. can participate in what's hoped to be The Greatest Show on Earth (by cultie standards).  And if it's not streamed, then it will surely play on YouTube, with an overpriced DVD made available for purchase.

Media exposure means high production values, Trad Nation's version of a DeMille project: authentic costuming from a Roman clerical tailor (we'd guess Ditta Annibale Gammarelli), expensive pontifical props, state-of-the-art video software, a mega-budget, and "a cast of thousands." (Well, maybe not "thousands," but at least dozens.)  The star will naturally be Junior, who's been preparing for this rôle all his life; Big Don as Consecrating "Bishop" will be the only supporting actor. The bit players on the call sheet, however, are just as interesting and warrant some tentative guesses.

Who will be the MCs? How 'bout Scutty and Squirmin' Herman? Which completer will act as the Assistant Priest? Dare they risk the Skipper? Who'll appear as the Secretary to the Elect? Our money's on My-Way Carlito, but might there be a mercy invitation to Lurch? Which sycophant will be introduced as the Deacon? Could it be the Toady, or maybe Wannabe? And what about the Subdeacon? Perhaps the Gallic Melancholic, don't ya think? And most pressingly, which prelatasters will have cameos as Assistant "Bishops"? 

Certainly we can count on the Jellyfish as one of the co-consecrators, can't we? For the other, could "One Hand" conceal his umbrage and accept the part —  if he's invited, that is. There's a lot of Swampland anger about all the trouble the 2009 $GG $chool $candal has caused, and there's always the fatal specter of the one-handed 1976 Écône "ordination": Why darken the Clone's glory day when a more probably valid and well-educated European "bishop" can be flown over? Li'l Dan would buy his own ticket, but who needs all the baggage that comes with his diminutive presence?*

Almost as important as the sanctuary players will be the "clerical" audience. Any sede brownnoser who gets invited had better show up. The Swampland cult masters will want their venue to look like a rookery as a sign of universal sede approbation of the new Boy Bishop. There may even be an attempt to mend a fences just so they can brag about the army of "clergy" marshaled for the fête. Inasmuch as there'll be lots of free grub and bubbly — and the fact that this'll be a farewell feed —we expect a record turnout.

No doubt about it: All eyes, minds, and pocketbooks are directed to next year's "enthronement."  PL will be overjoyed when the day arrives because it represents the twilight of the SW Ohio-B'ville cult as an influence on U.S. traditional Catholicism. The new Boy "Bishop" will edge out "The Lowly Worm" to withdraw his small, self-sustaining cult inward and out of the limelight. Without Big Don's painstakingly crafted image to hold Tradistan together, Dannie's ruined enterprise will follow suit.

At this great retrenchment, Trad Nation will be safe for the practice of the traditional Catholic faith. All that's left for the Readers is to confirm the identity of the co-consecrators. It'll help us figure out whether the 2018 "consecration" may try to resolve the abiding problem of American TradWorld and, if it does, whether there's a danger that some day the cult may bounce back. We'll discuss our theory on December 23.

*We're wagering Geert Jan Stuyver will be the other co-consecrator. According to the Religion Wiki, the Kid materially participated in Stuyver's January 16, 2002, "consecration." In our next post, you'll see more substantive reasons to support our strong belief he'll be an Assistant "Bishop," provided the Kid's handlers want to make his orders bulletproof.

33 comments:

  1. Reader

    I agree. The Big 3 will not give Cekada or Dolan any say in the ceremony. This will be an exclusive MHT production.

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    Replies
    1. We hear their adamant against any involvement of the Dynamic Duo.

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    2. "We hear their (SIC) adamant... "
      MORONS! (screenshot saved)

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    3. Oh, yes, and you're taking the bait. We're getting lots of text samples from you. We know how to reel you in, sucker.

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    4. I'm happy to give you as much "bait" as you like, but the facts are that you're lying about taking "text samples" as a motivation for purposely making a mistake. It wasn't on purpose. You're just trying to cover up your mistake. And you could take a milion text samples and they won't do you a scrap of good. Drop the pretenses. You made a mistake - just like you did when you used "wretch" instead of "retch." I'm getting lots of examples of how truly ignorant you are, "suckers." ;)

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    5. Think what you want, but nothing has been a mistake.

      When we threw out that "wretch/retch" chum you bit hard and, as we expected, you came back with more when we changed it. You did the same when we later tossed out "quotes/quoties." And with the above, you've given us even more material for textual analysis for our already well-developed profile.

      You're deluded if you believe you have proofs of our ignorance.

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    6. Anon. 5:45 PM (and 2:34 AM): Think what you will; but the thousands of others who read this blog know the truth: that it’s obvious, from everything that the Reader has ever written, that not only has he a superior intellect, but that he’s charitable enough to give moronic maggots like you a chance to blow your horn (and, in the process, give you enough rope to let you hang yourselves). That you would stoop so low as to take such a cheap shot as you did not only shows your abysmal ignorance, but your obvious malice as well. Congratulations, Numbskull! You’ve made a complete fool of yourself!

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  2. I don’t understand why +Don would consecrate Selway+ if he’s going to be kicked out after so doing. Will they pay him off?

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    Replies
    1. He won't be" kicked out" as such. He'll be put out to pasture. The Donster knows his time is up, so better to go off willingly, thus avoiding a nasty scene.

      Remember: Don's never been the "boss." He knows his place now that it's time for the Kid to take over. Maybe he'd've welcomed a few more years, but Mother Nature stepped in, didn't she?

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    2. Yes, but +Don has New Hampshire blood in him. They’re like old Romans suckeled by wolves and living on lentils.

      Live free or die! Evidently he’ll have time to think on these words. Who knows, he may end up a liberal Unitarian like William Laurence Sullivan. LOL!

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    3. The difference is that Sullivan had a real STB & STL from Catholic University.

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    4. And a lot of good it did him, no?

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    5. Malformation and unlawful orders are not remedies against defection from the faith. The laity are far better off when the clergy are real and professionally trained.

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    6. Of course it did him a lot of good. His fought hard for Theism amongst the Unitarians such that his opponents tried to make a rule that no former Catholics should be accepted for Unitarian Ministry. Don’t forget that he lived in the days of that horrid Pius X who destroyed the venerable Roman breviary and had some deleterious effects on the missal also.

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  3. Do you think Neville will attend?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, very much so, and we also think he'll take part in the ceremony.

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    2. As a sign of unity,I wish Bp.Santay would co-consecrate.

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  4. Why wouldn't they want the clergy at sgg to be involved? I don't get it. Aren't they all friends? Are you sure you're reading this correctly?

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    Replies
    1. Wee Dan and Big Don have never really been friends, and Dannie was out of sorts when the Donster was “consecrated.” It almost wrecked their association. As for Checkie, there are still hard feelings among the culties down there about the MHT construction, although he does seem to have an amicable, if decidedly unequal, relationship with the rector.

      In our current reading, it is quite possible the Dynamic Duo may attend the event because Dannie will want to give the impression it has his stamp of approval. However, we can't believe the real powers down there will allow him to act as a co-consecrator.

      Why?

      First, we think they're still angry about the collateral damage from the 2009 $GG $chool $candal, which they've suffered owing to Big Don's ham-fisted meddling back then. Second, they don't want the Boy "Bishop's" validity threatened by "One Hand's" active participation. The 2018 "consecration" has to be flawless in every respect — social, ceremonial, and sacramental!

      The Cheeseball's involvement is absolutely unnecessary, when you think about it. They've had his ceremony notes and diagrams for years, so he can't offer anything in that regard. (Plus they’ve got plenty of good Latin references in their library.) Moreover, the Kid not only pulled off Big Don's “consecration” but he is also reported to have served at Stuyver's, so he can manage his own affair without any help from the peanut gallery. Furthermore, we suspect that he and his handlers are mortified at the thought of Checkie's fingerprints on any of this.

      In sum, our working theory is that no one in the swamp wants anybody to think that Junior is beholden to the pariahs of Tradistan. He needs to begin his new rôle completely free of any affiliation with SW Ohio.

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  5. http://religion.wikia.com/wiki/Geert_Jan_Stuyver

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    Replies
    1. We think we may be seeing him on this side of the Atlantic in 2018.

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  6. Photographic proof he was there:
    http://www.sodalitium.biz/consacrazione-episcopale-mons-geert-stuyver/

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    Replies
    1. Much obliged for the link. A picture is better than a thousand words.

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    2. This photo somehow reminds me of a time when the ever suave Fr. Cekada told a fetching young beau, a Frenchman furthermore, who wore his tapered Soutane like only a Gaul could, after the latter recounted his ecclesiastical ventures: "Such a young man, so many experiences."

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  7. Reader

    Know this has nothing to do with the above subject but are you aware Julian Gilchrist is back here in the States and bumming around.How can Piv have him at his recent ordinations,etc after losing almost all the missions Down Under.Recall about three years ago he spent Christmas here and the people in Australia had no Mass.What a joke.

    It would appear the man from Melbourne at Piv's "seminary" has left.Pray he blasted Gilchrist and told him what a effeminate loser he is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, a source informed us by email last week. Another very good reason to leave the cult.

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    2. Anon Dec 20 at 9:28 PM.

      What really is your problem?
      If you cannot identify it, please seek help elsewhere.

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    3. Why do you say it would appear the man from Melbourne at Piv's "seminary" has left?
      Do you even know his name..or if he has really left?

      I know Fr Gilchrist and he is not effeminate or a loser.

      People who malign and calumniate priests are the real losers. -- Emboldened now, but will suffer later, eternally if do not repent.

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    4. Wearily we point out once more that these men are NOT Catholic priests. They are laymen, some of whom may hold valid but illicit orders.

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  8. Hello,was wondering if there was ever made available a dvd of Sanborn being made a "bishop" by Mckenna?

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    Replies
    1. We don't think he was as gauche as "One Hand" in narrating the video himself and then putting it up for sale. It seems only to have been in private circulation, but maybe a Michigander can fill us in. We'd bet it's been transferred to DVD by now.

      Back in 2005, a contributor viewed a VHS copy, which, according to his recollection, was a straight recording of the event, without apparent editing or narrative. He recalls a scene where McKenna was made to repeat a key section. They were worried about validity then, and we're betting that's on their mind now (as we'll discuss this Saturday).

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  9. I think it would be hilarious if one of the SSPX-Resistance Bishops was a co-consecrator
    (FAURE,AQUINAS,ZENDEJAS) & Dolan was left out to just sit in the pews.
    (Not gonna happen but a close up of his face during the essential form would be priceless)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that would be priceless.

      By the same token, if the co-consecrator is Stuyver or the Jellyfish or if both are co-consecrators, "One Hand" will be just as crestfallen.

      That's why we're beginning to think he won't show up at all to the Big Show. He might plead a "scheduling conflict" to save face with the increasingly distant Gerties. The Cheeseball may be a convenient no-show, too. Lurch and the Forlorn Finn could then "represent" them. We may know the answer to these speculations with the January 2018 pesthouse newsletter.

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