A few weeks ago, the June 5 $GG bulletin led us to guess that Dannie and the Cheeseball had launched a recurring feature about the Latin language in a futile effort to impress the Gerties. The Dummy Duo was obviously trying to pretend they weren't as ignorant as Pistrina has proved. (Of course, the Readers seized that opportunity to demonstrate once again how clueless those pinheads are about both Latin and English.)
Since then, our conjecture has been confirmed: the Wee One floated a second installment on June 19 and then another on July 3. The pattern suggests he may issue a "Latin Hiding in Plain Sight" article every two weeks in order to offset the Readers' scathing exposés of his and Checkie's miseducation. (We write may because the cultmasters are so disorganized and flakey that anything like sustained effort is beyond their limited capacity.)
For the life of us, we can't see why Dannie and Bonehead Tone keep trying to make an impression with their non-existent "learning." Every time we catch them (they should know by now), we "put it out on Front Street," as the kids used to say. Dirtbag Dan and Phony Tony should face up to the hard truth that Latin will forever remain out of their reach. Consequently, they should stop embarrassing themselves with these awkward cover-up attempts, not only in the bulletin but in their other print misadventures as well.
Just take Dannie's shabby "2016 A.D. (sic!) All Saints Roman Catholic Calendar." In the texts of the brief captions to each month's tacky photo, Latin is used only twice in 12 months (viz., March and June), yet in both cases THERE'S AN ERROR! We exposed the June blunder in our post of April 3 (click here), but we've been saving the March moronity for just such an occasion as today. There, under the photo of His Diminutiveness (who's being dwarfed by the ungainly, hulking Lurch at his left), Dannie wrote (emphases ours):
"Ecce lingum Crucis... Behold the wood of the Cross etc."Well, now, non-specialist lay people writing to us after our April 3 post saw that Dannie had misspelled the Latin word lignum, i.e., g + n, not n + g. They were surprised we hadn't exposed that goof along with the other. You see, everyone wants the cultmasters exposed for the charlatans they are. Thank heavens the u-key is far away from the a-key or else the Gerties might have had to endure a blasphemous Freudian slip hanging on their well-soiled walls for the entire month of March! (Perhaps nostalgia for some ayurvedic spa therapy at the Bishop's Lodge is at the root.)
What's so revealing is that "One Hand" chose to quote only a pair of three-word Latin phrases, yet in both cases he misspelled a Latin word. Then he didn't catch it during proofreading! Making it all the more scandalous is the fact that both phrases come from the liturgy, which Dannie claims to be his area of expertise.That malformed mitered maggot has a profound, insatiable need to impress people, yet he stumbles badly every time, doesn't he?
Dannie's embarrassingly incompetent calendar is bursting with additional examples of this compulsion to make himself look ridiculous. Start with the cover: instead of simply printing "2016," Li'l Daniel waxes hyper formal with "2016 A.D*." But the problem here is, in formal English usage, that particular era designation properly precedes the year number. Why? Because A.D. = the Latin phrase anno Domini, which means "in the year the Lord." Hence the year number has to follow the abbreviation. Dannie's grossly illiterate "2016 A.D." then laughably reads, "2016 in the year of the Lord," which is total nonsense. (It also shows he has no understanding of the Latin behind the abbreviation — the result of gross malformation.) Good scholarship today only recognizes a postpositive A.D. in usages like "the fourth century A.D."— a less wordy way of saying "the fourth century of the Christian era."
Another instance of how Wee Dan's naked eagerness to impress always ends up exposing his startling ignorance is his failure to include all appropriate accent marks on saints' names. On November 28, he ostentatiously printed the accent aigu on the French surname Labouré, but at the same time he completely missed the tilde for the Spanish servants of God John of Sahagún (June 12), Teresa of Ávila (Oct. 15), and Peter of Alcántara (Oct. 19).
Admittedly many English-language publications omit foreign-language diacritics, although less so nowadays with the near universal availability of fonts with comprehensive character sets. In any case, Dannie should have been consistent: if you use a diacritical mark for one name, you ought to use one for all names that bear such a mark or omit the marks altogether (especially when you obviously don't know the original spelling).
Like all clowns, "One Hand" is at his imbecilic funniest when he clumsily strives to be solemnly impressive. As an example, for December 29, he prints "Thomas à Becket" instead of plain, old "Thomas Becket." No doubt Dannie thought he was being very précieux here by adding the particle. However, as far back as 1859, the Jesuit John Morris wrote, "[the] form 'à Becket' is a colloquialism of recent date." In 1986, Becket biographer and fellow of the British Academy Frank Barlow concluded, "'à Becket' seems to have been a post-Reformation invention...from which Thomas should be spared." Later in 2014, Prof. Kay Brainerd Slocum confirmed that this "post-Reformation construction [viz. "à Becket"]... has been discarded...."
Alien Dan, as usual, stands on the outside of the academy. Driven by his pathetic obsession to court esteem through affectation, His Errancy continues to perpetuate an error long ago rejected by the literate. To his largely empty but aggressively narcissistic mind, the form "à Becket" looks oh-so proper and exotic. Why, it's the type of impressive knowledge possessed by a deeply cultured and widely revered leading citizen of the Republic of Letters — the kindly, scholarly, cat-fancying "old bishop," generously sharing a lifetime's learning to bring light unto his benighted and blear-eyed culties.
EXCEPT IT'S ALL BOGUS.
"One Hand" is not even a callow show-off. A show-off at least has tangible accomplishments to display. The schoolyard vulgarian who breaks wind on demand is more worthy of our applause than Blowhard Dan who merely generates hot air infused with error.
Don't listen to him, and don't buy anything he's selling.
* We'll give Dannie a pass — this time — for failing to set the abbreviation in small caps, as educated convention requires. If he doesn't know the usage rule, how could he know the typesetting rule? But since our ancient version of Google's Blogger cannot reproduce small caps, even when we insert them from a Word document, in fairness we've chosen to remain silent about that particular typographical flaw.