In his July 10 "Bishop's (?) Corner," a mere three months after Wee Dan taunted the Gerties with his defiant announcement, "I am in Mexico for another* quick weekend trip" ("Corner," 4/10/16), His Itinerancy bragged he would again "head off to Mexico for the weekend"!
If, for reasons of vain prestige, the Gerties, beset by so many expenses like the prematurely wrecked HVAC system, are willing to pay for all Dan's frequent luxury foreign travel, then we suppose it's their money to waste as they please. It's quite possible, you know, they might enjoy underwriting at great personal sacrifice Dannie's apostolate to nowhere south of the border. (Gertie kids don't need to see the orthodontist anyway: One day, when these twisted offspring finally find adult employment in a carnival freak show, they actually may need to eat an apple through the narrowly spaced bars of their cages.)
But (we feel obliged to ask) would they be so heedlessly generous if they knew that Travelin' Man Dan's Mexican enterprise is on the verge of coming apart?
Pistrina has reliable reports that at least one of the chapels has broken with "One Hand" in disgust. It's only a matter of time before the rupture is formally complete. We surmise that Dannie's flown down to try to keep one or another affiliated chapel from breaking away, too. (And who knows what inducements he's taken along?)
Since we don't have confirmed details, however, we'll have to leave it at that. Nevertheless, "One Hand Dan's" got a full-blown crisis on his hands. As usual, the Gerties will have to cough up the cash — just as they've had to bail out Dysfunctional Dan from all the previous messes he's gotten himself into.
But this time it's not fair. This time it's not the Gerties' fault: they've been taken for a ride.
The 2009 $GG School Scandal was a local disaster arising from within the cult's own community. Consequently, the Gerties' reprehensible decision not to exit with the principled moral majority was their own free choice. By staying, they tacitly agreed to assume the greatly increased burden on their family budgets created by the exodus, including paying the salary of the amazingly-still-employed "principal," who brought on the calamity. The groveling Gerties were depraved to continue enabling the cult masters after what had happened. Accordingly, since they did so fully aware of the circumstances, they don't deserve any sympathy for the non-stop attacks on their wallets after the decent people had left $GG.
However, the current Mexican crisis is a different ball of wax altogether. In this case, the goofy Gertries merit advice and assistance. They have no idea of what's going on. The image in their mind's eye is one of the Dirtbag enjoying a lavish welcome accompanied by tropical flowers; bright-eyed, colorfully attired señoritas; a spirited, thumping banda del pueblo; and loads 'n' loads of those "savory Mexican dishes" so highly prized in the rodent-infested $GG rectory. When Gerties read Wee Dan's novelistic accounts of his "episcopal progress" through Baja, they most likely imagine happy tradicionalistas gathered together in idyllic harmony around the old gringo "bishop (?)."
Beguiled by that imaginative, palm-tree-pocked traddie Arcadia, which Dan has invented to assure frequent tropical vacations, the Gerties may not begrudge His Spendthriftiness the excessive airfare and lodging expenditures as long as so many of the "less fortunate" are delighted to have the scum bucket in their midst. Furthermore, let's not forget that when Dannie got back from his winter Mexican holiday, he gave the cultlings fair warning of his intention to "get out each month and share the [Gerties'] wealth." It's entirely possible they might have agreed with the prodigal prelate's conclusion that "[w]e have so much at St. Gertrude the Great." (Click here for our post.)
Yet ... just like the neocolonialist yarns he spins when he gets back to the raggedy SW Ohio cult center, the adoring Mexican throngs are imaginary, too. As he's done wherever he ventures, "One Hand" has sown discord, division, and disappointment throughout our good neighbor to the south. Certainly that's not what the bled-dry Gerties bargained for. If he had come clean and told the culties that it's just about ready to blow down there so the trip was necessary, then we'd have kept quiet.
But he didn't.
All that wastefulness is quite beyond imagination. When Dannie gets back on Sunday or Monday, it's time to corner him in his shabby office and have a serious talk. (Watch out for the mice!) Dannie's summer getaway coming so soon after his spring fling has to be the last straw.
Quite possibly, the Gerties may be hesitant to confront him about the real purpose behind His Predacity's latest raid on their family budget. They're still so cult-addled they might believe it was just a routine part of his multinational "apostolate." To gauge his earnestness, they should apply the following test: if Dannie boasts that he went to Mexicali, where the average July high temperature is 108º F, you can be almost certain it was an emergency junket on the Gerties' dime to salvage his all-but vanished influence outside the ratty West Chester industrial park.
The cultmasters must be made to recognize that fixing problems caused by their personality disorders does not fall under the category of a legitimate expense. Surely the hundreds of dollars (or more) for airfare and other travel costs could have been better spent on much-needed repairs or saved for the next maintenance disaster threatening decrepit $GG. The cash-strapped cultlings assuredly cannot afford all this frivolous spending on interpersonal disasters of the Wee One's making.
Stop him now from planning and executing a fall foray into México lindo.
Insofar as Li'l Daniel will never listen to reason, no matter how politely the arguments are framed, the Gerties have but one recourse after he angrily shows them the rickety door: