Saturday, December 24, 2016


 Editor's Note: In restless anticipation of St. Nick's visit tonight, the Readers are posting early. We've got to hang up our stockings and wiggle into our toasty p.j.'s long before the jolly old elf lands on the roof of PL's editorial offices. (We've been very, very good this year.)

Don't worry: we'll leave Krampus a nice bottle of Himbeergeist along with GPS coördinates for all the SW Ohio-Brooksville cult centers and affiliates. (Let's hope he's got enough switches for the terribly naughty Tradistani "clergy.")

The horseleech hath two daughters that say: Bring, bring. The Book of Proverbs

The Readers thought they'd heard it all.

Then they saw last week's "Bishop's (?) Corner."

Mind you, we're accustomed to the degrading image of His Mendicancy's mooching fully prepared suppers from impoverished Gertie families. But nothing, and we mean nothing, beats the following example of grotesque impudence:

We’re surely grateful for meals for priests. Last week we did very well. Sometimes, though, it’s a question of meals or priestly work, and we’d much rather attend to the spiritual, but we are used to eating, alas! So, let’s work together. If you are cooking, please use the Cucina Clerical website. For last-minute offerings, just let me know, or Fr. Lehtoranta, so the food doesn’t get missed. Sometimes we forget to check the fridge. We should be good for Christmas, as we were indeed for Thanksgiving. But there can be some pretty spare days in between….
What was he smoking when he wrote that?

Unless you assume Panhandlin' Dan, suffering from some dissociative disorder brought on by increasing defections from his cult, is babbling some loopy, stream-of-consciousness monologue, it's hard to make much sense of the paragraph. To decode the Dirtbag's secret message, you've got to anatomize the text. In case you quickly skimmed over the immodest proposal, thereby missing all the parasitical implications lurking under the zany prose, here's our reading. Let's start with the third sentence:
Sometimes, though, it’s a question of meals or priestly work, and we’d much rather attend to the spiritual, but we are used to eating, alas!
That line is much more than a mortifying specimen of Dannie's frightfully gauche humor. It's a brazen threat:
"If you want us to do the job you're paying us for, then you'd better make sure we don't waste our time or money on grocery shopping and cooking for ourselves."
So what if your employers expect you to feed yourself on your own! So what if you have to take time out from what you want to do in order to shop and prepare dinner! The clerical leeches feeding off you in grand style won't be confined by the silly constraints of daily life. No way! If you want 'em to work, then you gotta feed 'n' serve 'em.

Like all inveterate freeloaders, Dannie's too practiced a sponger to let you ponder his insolence for too long. If he gave you time to reflect, you'd be furious. That's why he immediately made his move to lock in your thoughtless assent as you were still recovering from his aggressive cadging:

So, let’s work together. If you are cooking, please use the Cucina Clerical website. For last-minute offerings, just let me know, or Fr. Lehtoranta, so the food doesn’t get missed. Sometimes we forget to check the fridge.
See, Gerties, you've been slow on the uptake. He'll "work together" with you to guarantee a non-stop supply of ready-to-nuke-'n'-gobble goodies for himself and his bone-lazy clown crew. And since the cult "clergy" aren't resourceful enough to open the refrigerator to check whether you've brought their chow, it's now up to you to inform them. (N.B. In fairness, the cult "Fathers" might be scared to open the refrigerator door for fear of encountering another mouse inside. See our post of January 3,  2015. )

Apparently, the unannounced food drop-offs forced the curiously incurious "clergy" to rustle up their grub using their own cash. Gertie Gals, it's your fault the "missed" victuals rotted away or were carried off by the filthy vermin nesting in SGG. All we can say is that Li'l Daniel must be pretty cross at your inconsideration.

What makes your thoughtlessness more reprehensible is that on those days when the "clergy" missed the catered eats, Dannie probably had to pressure one of his work-averse "clerical" parasites to whip up something for his din-din. Can you imagine the screaming and yelling it takes to herd those layabouts into the kitchen, especially if they're squeamish about rodent scat?

After Dannie 'fessed up to forgetting to check on meal deliveries, he probably realized he'd crossed the line. The cultlings signed on to SGG for the sacraments, not to run a "clerical" chuck wagon and ring an iron triangle dinner-bell for loafers too indolent to crack open the icebox door. That's really taxing the dirty Gerties' vanishing patience, even by cult-master standards. Accordingly, his survival instincts cautioned him to pivot by playing the sympathy card:
We should be good for Christmas, as we were indeed for Thanksgiving. But there can be some pretty spare days in between….
"Some pretty spare days..."?

Did he say, "... SPARE..."???

What? Does "One Hand" mean the SGG chow-hound "clergy" didn't have enough freebies to wolf down between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Is the old scrounger's cupboard so bare that his poor "clerical" doggies have nothing to nosh on between holiday pig-outs? Can His Esuriency be suggesting that Gertie Gals bust their household budgets to cater meals every day, or else he and his famished entourage will starve? Could it be that Uneven Steven's at risk of involuntarily attaining the Body Mass Index recommended by the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute?

If true, it's strange, because in the next paragraph "One-Hand Dan" reveals the "clergy" actually do have the resources, batterie de cuisine (almost), and advanced culinary skills to pull off a crockpot pot roast.* Experienced cook that he is, Dannie himself crowed, "it really is easy to do." Moreover, His Gourmandiseship pronounced the dish "delicious! A great winter dinner."

All-righty, then... the question we have — and one that should fester on the lips of every haggard Gertie scullery maid — is:
Why can't the scum "clergy" make their own dinners in a slow cooker every day?
There are hundreds of economical recipes online, such as this one for hillbilly crockpot raccoon stew, seeing that SGG has a generous supply of the critters infesting the ramshackle cult center. Alternatively, they could get hold of the bestselling Better Homes and Gardens Biggest Book of Slow Cooker Recipes which features a bonus chapter on 5-ingredient recipes. That way, Deacon Dan only has to use one hand when he goes marketing.

But don't waste your breath. Stop these bloodsucking worms before their hungry proboscides strike again:


* Weirdly offensive as the "Corner" was, PL got a kick out of Dan's anecdote about cajoling the hapless Lurch into making a slow-cooker repast: 
... the other night after an excellent supper of Aztec Soup, I inveigled Fr. McGuire, of all things, into making Crockpot Pot Roast. He likes it, and was familiar with the concept... 
Hold on now! Fixing a pot roast in a crockpot is a CONCEPT????

Sheesh! He makes it sound as if he'd asked Lurch to factor 4th degree polynomials with synthetic division instead of dumping 3 or 4 pounds of eye-of-round along with a can of cream-of-mushroom soup into the inner bowl. Well, we suppose if one of your "things" is Lurch, you've got to pretend it's high functioning.

But right after Dannie declared the dish "delicious," his finely tuned prudentia carnis counseled him to excite the Gerties' pity lest they get the impression that the idle "clergy" are capable of fending for themselves in the kitchen:
The only problem is that when [Lurch] started, after having shopped for the ingredients, he discovered we had the crock but not the pot, the lining having been lost. 
Oh, brother!


  1. "John Vianney regularly spent 14 to 18 hours a day in the confessional surviving. He would go two and even three days without eating. When he did eat his meal consisted of boiled potatoes."

    Clearly, they do not imitate saints.

    Who should be cooking these meals that they request?

    What are mass stipends used for?

    Who can't use a crockpot? Maybe they could ask the Sisters of Florida or the Seminary in Florida what they do to have 3 meals made for them daily? They must know how to solicite meals better than the weekly newsletter.

    We are in times where both the husband and wife tend to work. So families are suppose to not only work, but feed and take care of their family, tithe, give mass stipends, donate for SGG's lack of prudence in hiring a good building contractor, clean for them, and now cook for the priests?

    1. These expectations sound like pampered princesses, not priests.

    2. It's our understanding that the Swampland "priory princesses" rely on the laity to do most of the cooking as well as the cleaning.

      We think the difference between those coddled chicks and the SGG bums is this: The "priory princesses" tell the people what they want to eat, and they demand the finest, most expensive ingredients, while the SGG louts have to take what the people fix for them. (And sometimes they don't like the "offering," as Dannie calls it. In the past, the laity have complained about food going uneaten. There's even a story that a "clerical" crudball once looked at a dish and told the irritated maker, "Oooh. I don't like that!")

    3. I guess at least Sanborn tries with hiring a cook for his gourmet meals. My guess is that the parish doesn't realize they are paying for his gourmet, sometime organic, everything homemade meals. If so, they might start holding back on their donations when they find out his expensive tastes and the fact that the seminary keeps a beer refrigerator stocked for the priests and seminarians. Do they also have wine at every meal?

      The princesses of Brooksville have family making their meals. Yet, even some of their family complain about how much of a pain it is to baby the girls on a constant basis. The kids talk outside of mass about being slaves to the nuns. One time, it was even overheard from one of the main families that the girls are expected to act as though they are nuns with the same rules as the nuns. They mentioned the nuns don't seem to take a vow of poverty and have an easier life than anyone who doesn't go into the convent. In fact, these kids talk so much that one of the mother's supposably went to the priest when her daughter said she didn't want to go into the convent. The priest had a talk with this girl and told her that her vocation was to be a nun. I'm not sure if she is now currently a nun or not, but it seems to me that these girls are obviously being forced and then bribed with the good life, in order to stay in for Sanborn's reputation.

  2. How is one supposed to get married today? I refuse to get married in the Novus Ordo, but the independent traditionalist priests and sedevacantists don't seem too appetizing either. Is the SSPX the best option? Or should couples just get married by themselves?

    1. Normally someone gets married at the chapel where they attend Mass, or at their future spouse's chapel. If you don't have a chapel where you currently attend Mass, then I would suggest starting with that.

      Contrary to the impression you might get from this blog, there's really nothing complicated or mysterious about choosing a chapel to attend. You don't need to worry about whether they fit some elusive criterion for being a "cult", whether the clergy are "scum", or whether their chapel "is the Catholic Church", whatever that means.

      None of this has anything to do with practicing the Catholic Faith.

      The reason Catholics attend Mass is to worship God and receive the Sacraments that give them the graces they need to stay in sanctifying grace, and thus save their souls. That's all there is to it. All you need is a chapel with a priest ordained in the traditional (pre-Vatican II) rite, who comes from an *unbroken* line of clergy ordained in the traditional (pre-Vatican II) rite, who offers the traditional Mass and sacraments. If you have the luxury of doing so, choose a priest who studied in a traditional Catholic seminary, the more the better.

      It's really that simple. All this nonsense about whether they leave leftovers in their refrigerator or ask people to cook for them is just a distraction from what is really important, which is that we keep the commandments, worship God, and sanctify ourselves with prayer, the sacraments and the divine liturgy, and in the end to die in sanctifying grace and go to heaven.

    2. No, it's not that simple, as you want people to believe.

      First, outside the SSPX and FSSP, there are no traditional seminaries, in the real sense, so none of these "clergy" are really trained. Moreover, if they've been "ordained" by "One-Hand Dan," their orders are doubtful. Second, the cults do not practice the Catholic faith, only some cult master's personal, warped vision of what it's supposed to be, filtered though his narcissistic lens.

      You're obviously a cultist who has no idea of how bad the cult "clergy" are. Stop misleading people. Your soul is in jeopardy. Furthermore, you've missed the point of our posts. The demand for food from poor chapel goers is a symptom that something is wrong with these men. That symptom is an important sign that these men are not the real thing.

    3. That statement about which seminaries are "traditional seminaries in the real sense" is nothing more than your personal opinion.

      Next, according to you, the "cult clergy" are narcissistic and have a warped vision of what the Catholic Faith is supposed to be, and the "demand" food from the lay people. Oh, and they're not the "real thing", whatever that means. Can you please explain what any of these claims have to do with what I said in my post? I said someone needs to nourish their soul with sacramental graces and the Holy Mass. The Church teaches that even if a priest is a sinner, the sacraments he administers still confer grace — in fact, their spiritual potency is not even reduced in any way by the unworthiness of the minister. So can you please explain how these personal complaints you have against these priests have anything to do with whether someone should receive the sacraments from them?

    4. Gladly. First, the orders of the great majority of Tradistani "priests" are doubtful. Second, their behavior is so detestable that they render the sacraments odious. Catholics are far better off, spiritually and financially, to go elsewhere, even if that means home.

    5. I personally had the opportunity to attend some of these places. A place that seeks your money instead of your soul is not Catholic. A place who has priests known to break confessional vows is not a place I want to be. Priests who knowigly bash their parishioners and divulge private things said in a confessional, in order to try to discredit them is not a place to attend. There are numerous reasons why these places are doubtful, and I wouldn't trust them with my soul.

    6. Agreed on everything you write. Those are places to lose your faith. Indeed, many have.

    7. FSSP is doubtful as judeo-Novus ordo "bishops" "ordain" their "priests"
      SSPX SSPV and Thuc line is what you need to find.

  3. SSPX surely? Undoubted orders and well qualified priests.

    1. Moore Slayer certainly wants to avoid any of the Tradistani chapels. We hear one of them is so intrusive it limits the number of bridesmaids who can participate. Anyway, since Tradistan is not the Church, and its "priests" have no mission from the Church, all he or she would get is a Catholic-looking ceremony under unappetizing circumstances. Plus the couple would probably get charged a huge fee.

      We concur that SSPX is the best option for MS, given the objections expressed. But for many couples, there is no SSPX chapel nearby. That may tempt them to go to Tradistan, which must always be avoided. Perhaps that's why MS asked the last question.

      Since the contracting parties to matrimony are the ministers of the sacrament, and since in Tradistan there are no genuine Catholic priests, only laymen with (possibly valid) orders, MS might want to consult his/her conscience about the possibility of repeating Catholic vows in canonical form before witnesses. Of course, she or he ought to check with a lawyer to see whether an auxiliary civil marriage ceremony is necessary under the present condition of society.

    2. I wonder how Japanese Catholics coped? They had two centuries or so without priests. The SSPX are the only certain ones, the SSPV are capable too but with far fewer chapels. One could possibly consider an elderly priest or at least a priest ordained by a pre '68 bishop, but could be problematic in its way. The last comments by the Reader is intriguing. There are Catholic ways to cope without priests.

    3. Yes, it is rumored that Don only allows at most 3 bridesmaids, but he prefers only one or two. In addition, a few of his parishioners have gone out of the way to marry in other churches so that they didn't have to deal with his extended rules and embarrassments. One family had even said that their family was not allowed into a wedding because Don himself stood outside for dress inspection, and they didn't pass inspection.

      It's a control thing with him. Pretty much like his 3 inch heel rules. There's one thing to expect modesty in the Church and another thing to go overboard.

    4. Disgraceful.

      We also heard that one of SGG's rich big wigs had his daughter married outside the cult because of the limitations on the number of bridesmaids.

      They just want to control everybody.

    5. What will be like (control-wise, that is) when The Kid takes over the cult compound?

      Having read all the above comments, it seems that the Nagasaki Catholics were comparatively better off, even without the ministrations of priests for 200+ years. If the laity could just think through this point in an objective, dispassionate manner - it should be clear that they should just dump the cult masters. Unfortunately, they show their depravity and perverseness by enabling the cult masters.

    6. "What will be like (control-wise, that is) when The Kid takes over the cult compound?"

      It is Sr. Selway in charge, so who knows! My guess is it will become more cultlike than it already is. The main 3 don't like outsiders in that can pollute their kids. They are very selective about who comes into their cult. Money is key. The ability to control is another key. The others need to know their place and know who makes the rules.

      I'm wondering if the seminary will eventually be too much, and if Sanborn moves, the seminary goes too? Or the Argentenians rule the seminary, and Jr takes over the convent and school parts?

    7. We think the current "seminary" staff, i.e., the Argentinians, will leave with Sanborn, who will probably re-establish it in France. Scut the Prefect spent the summer there perfecting his French. Remember what Big Don wrote in August 2016, after his last visit:

      "Father Hecquard showed me a
      property which his brother
      acquired which could serve well
      for our priests who wish to
      establish an apostolate in France.
      It consists of a house and a cottage
      sitting on about two acres of land,
      completely private with a wall,
      and a twelfth-century chapel,
      which the family is in the process
      of repairing and restoring. They
      have already made great progress.
      The property looks out upon a
      stunning view of the royal palace
      and twelfth-century romanesque
      church. It would be an ideal place
      for a small seminary. It would be
      wonderful to one day establish a
      seminary in France where young
      men could be trained as they
      ought, and not by the ever more
      confused and erroneous Society of Saint Pius X."

      This seems to fit perfectly with his plans to found a new organization of priests to address the putative deficiencies of the SSPX.

      If there's not enough money to build the promised new "convent" in B'ville, maybe they can re-purpose the old pesthouse property for the "priory princesses," unless it's too shabby for their exquisite tastes. In that case, it could probably be remodeled. That's a lot cheaper than a brand new structure.

      Any new "priests" will come from the Big 3 families, so the Kid could "form" them all by his lonesome while they lived at home. The Bean Pole can go back to MI, probably to work with the Jellyfish.