Saturday, March 11, 2017

MR. SMARTY HELD A PARTY, BUT NOBODY CAME



There is not a fiercer hell than the failure in a great object. Keats

Surprise! Surprise!

Last week, "The Bishop's (?) Corner" virtually proclaimed $GG's "Fat $unday" an unqualified triumph of party-planning. You remember "Fat $unday," don't you? That's a rollicking Quinquagesima blast where potbellied gluttons gorge on dense, flat, burned griddle cakes drowning under a viscous deluge of high-fructose syrup and trans-fatty-acid-rich margarine, all the while anticipating postprandial BINGO. (See our post from February 25 here.) 

Take a look at "One Hand's" button-poppingly-proud review of his sordid fête:
I pray for many good fruits, strong friendships and spiritual encouragement to come from last week’s wonderful Social Sunday. Wow! What a success! A great combination of hunger and free food and convenience really packed ’em in, as never before. Brilliant idea! I regret I could not be with you, but as pastor I am so gratified and grateful to all who gave and worked, and to those who took some time to stay and participate. Many thanks! Let’s do it again?... 

Well, we are, in a way, doing the same thing, these Fridays of Lent. Great suppers are on offer. Free! Emboldened by the pancakes, perhaps you would like to check it out? Come to Mass and stay for supper, or come for something to eat and fortify yourself for Stations.
As usual, "One Hand Dan's" musings require the Readers' deeper analysis to puzzle out the message. And like all things Dannie, there's as much to learn from what he didn't say as from what he did. Laying aside the question of whether his claim of stunning "success" is true or not — by his own admission, he wasn't present to witness the eating orgy — let's consider the absence of comment on the "Lenten Supper" of "beans, ravioli, and mac and cheese" earlier promoted for Friday, March 3.

Believe it or not, PL can understand how Gerties might've tarried for some over-flipped "emboldening panncakes" following one of the (possibly simulated) $unday Masses. After all, the rite trash were already loitering at the cult dump. So, then, why not grab the rug-rats violently by their jug ears and trudge over to the grimy social hall to hang on a freebie feedbag before hitchhiking back to a roach-infested hovel?

Actually Dannie's Fat $unday eat-a-thon was a civic blessing in disguise: With the free chow, Ma didn't have to rustle up some grub for the starving kee-yuds when they all got home. She could then join Pa in a few shop-lifted beers, thereby postponing the usual bloody fight over his chugging a whole six-pack without sharing. Thus "$ocial $unday" kept any number of 10-16's from crackling over the nosey neighbors' police scanners.

That's a "success" in our book!

But Friday, March 3, is an altogether different matter. Missing was the "convenience." To sink their toothless, diseased gums into the colon-clogging repast, the Gerties would've first had to ride over to the dirty $GG industrial park. That would've entailed herding crumb-crushers already spazzin' out on a violent "sugar high" into a hot-wired pickup before swinging by the local honky-tonk to roll Pa onto the rusting flatbed.

"Wow!" Not likely.

Accordingly, based on the "combination" of that insight and Dannie's silence about the March 3 turnout, the Readers conjecture the Friday feed was as unsuccessful as Ash Wednesday, which, as Dirtbag Dan confessed, had been a BUST (explaining why he's almost begging them to "come for something to eat" on Fridays):
Ash Wednesday was sparse, as it was the previous two years, due perhaps to bad weather.
$GG had scheduled THREE Ash-Wednesday Masses to round up the cult zombies: 7:00 A.M. (a "Special Workers' Mass, no sermon!"), 11:20 A.M., and 5:45 P.M. In all, the cult masters distributed ashes at FIVE different times throughout the day. Yet still attendance was "sparse." Forget Weatherman Dan's lame meteorological excuse. If you don't get your ashes when there're opportunities galore, you're not going to show up for Friday "$tations," not even for "free food" smothered with runny layers of low-fiber process cheese.

These folks really don't want to be there. There's no motive to "check it out." They're not about to answer Dannie's prayers for "wonderful," wallet-emptying generosity.  If Gerties who've been able to ditch the repo man went anywhere that Friday night, they probably made a beeline for one of the nearby Novus-Ordo parish fish-fries, where the food is appetizing, and normal-looking table mates sport clean fingernails.*

Let's cut to the chase, shall we? Don't you think His Egocentricity would've loudly tooted his own horn about a good turnout if there'd been a crowd that Friday? Epecially after he admitted the Ash-Wednesday fiasco. Even supposing he drafted his "Bishop's (?) Corner" on Thursday, there was still plenty of time to insert a line or two before Saturday evening's publication. Furthermore, if Friday, March 3 been "a success" worthy of an exclamation point, then why did Dannie go to such lengths to assure Gerties  the "Great suppers...on offer" — "Free!" — on "Fridays of Lent" are the "same thing" as his "brilliant idea" of Fat $unday? 

At PL we haven't been bitten by the gambling bug, but if we had to place a bet, we'd wager that the first of Dannie's "Friday Nights in Lent" was an embarrassing flop. But, then, how could it have resulted otherwise without B-I-N-G-O?

At least the coagulated globs of sticky, starchy leftovers must've gone into the "traveling Fathers'" fridge, where the scavenging field mice could feast to their little vermin-hearts' content.

* The cultlings in SW Ohio are blessed with a fabulous seasonal fish-fry scene.  As Wee Dan might say, "check it out" here. The one at nearby All Saints on Montgomery Road looks pretty tasty to us Lenten-fish-fry enthusiasts:"Fried Cod, Grilled Salmon, Grilled Tilapia, Fish Tacos, Cheese Pizza, French Fries, Baked Potatoes, Sweet Potato Fries, Cole Slaw, Tossed Salad, Applesauce, Assorted Desserts."  From now on, Gerties, just say no to that  $GG heart-attack-on-a-paper-plate hog slop and sit down to scrumptious traditional Lenten fare at an area church near you. You and your gastrointestinal tract will be glad you traded up, even if it isn't "Free!"

41 comments:

  1. Gosh, it looks like $GG's $ocial Sundays are really a euphemism for their $ocial $ecurity.

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    1. You $aid it! They can be real $ociable when the $takes are high — and they're $ky high now: it's $urvival time, and the outlook isn't too good for the "bi$hop."

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  2. Another great laugh Reader.SGG is all about $$$.The cult days are numbered.

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  3. Checking Don's latest schedule and fasting rules, modesty rules and everything else not much longer under the "Sun" seems another name is missing from the seminary roster and not one source is quoted for the arbitrary rules for fasting or modesty - how could he - thick shakes didn't exist in the glorious 50s but Donnie like all of them makes it up as he goes along. Also he's celebrating a Pontifical Missa Cantata (which was an exception granted by John XXIII) boy do these "guys" (and Don hates that word) make things up all over the place !

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    1. Yes, we've posted before about Dannie's hypocrisy re: "pontifical Missa cantata," and you're right to point out that the cult masters are just making it up as they go along. And when things get bad, they go overboard to get back control. With the loss of AZ to the CMRI, Big Don's going to ratchet up the new rule making. We expect the restrictions at the school will proliferate too.

      As for the roster, we too heard that another "seminarian," one of from a Big 3 family, has left. We hear from others that the lack of study time is still a big grievance — precious hours that should be devoted to mastering difficult subject matter is squandered with KP and other chores. That can only grow worse as the pesthouse decays in the humid subtropical climate, and the money dries up.

      It seems that the real object of any remaining cash reserves is the new convent for the priory princesses; the "seminary" is the orphan nobody wants. No wonder the Donster is planning to ordain in France next year. It's "all she wrote" in the U. S. of A.

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  5. "(T)oothless, diseased gums"? "(C)lean fingernails"?? I certainly understand the well founded grievances against Dolan and Cekada, but what's with the ad hominems against the laity? That recurs a bit much on this blog. How does that help anyone?

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    1. Those are legitimate concerns: public health and communicable diseases are certainly important, as are doctrine and morals.

      I, for one, appreciate PL's and The Reader's minute observations and their concern for decent folks, that they not fall prey to the cult masters.

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    2. Dear NCTradCatholic,

      The reason we created the specific Gertie profile to which you object was to highlight the moral depravity of those trads whose material and financial support of the $W-Ohio cult enables the scumbags to continue to operate.

      Thus our characterization of the Gerts as "Deliverance types" isn't an ad hominem attack at all. It's more in the allegorical tradition of the Middle Ages — a vivid representation of what kind of person so disordered a conscience produces. Since our target audience is Americans, we've chosen to portray these collusionists for as the lowest kind of human known in this country, as a warning not to associate with anyone who keeps Dannie, Cheesy, or Donnie, for that matter, in business. (However, we must say that anyone who's attended $GG after the 2009 School Scandal, when half the membership left, might find our descriptions to be more scientific than polemical.)

      Not to gainsay you, but grievances against the laity who provide Dannie and Checkie with the means to keep on going are as well-founded as those against the cult masters. Without the Gerties' dollars, efforts, and approval, those two would either have to get out of TradNation or change their ways. Accordingly, anyone who aids and abets these ecclesiastical entrepreneurs has earned our just censure. Such criticism helps insofar as it encourages decent people to avoid anyone who feeds the beast.

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    3. Hey, Reader

      I must say you hit the nail on the head. Bravo!

      While Dannie and Checkie are, undoubtedly, contemptible ... so are the Gerties who support and enable them. Thanks for putting this point across so convincingly.

      No right-thinking, decent human being should enable Dannie and Checkie. The Gerties, by doing just that, are reprehensible.

      Question: what say you, NCTradCatholic? Do you still want to fault PL/Reader for what they have written?

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    4. I was asking for an explanation, of a writing style that I don't normally come across on a Catholic forum. I was not "faulting". Since I'm not a sede-vacantist, and don't live anywhere near Ohio, the comments regarding the laity there may well have been completely accurate, for all I know. But it merited at least a question on my part. The Watcher seems to think my question was "sanctimonious drivel", but I beg to differ.

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    5. As for us at PL, we took your question at face value and considered it a worthy one. In the past, many have asked us privately about the technique, and you, NCTradCatholic, gave us the welcome opportunity to flesh out in some detail our motives. For that, the Readers are grateful. We hope our reply above at Mar. 12, 4:46 at least answered your questions. (We don't ask that you approve of or agree with the tactic.)

      Also, just for clarification, we don't consider the cult masters or the toilet fish who enable them to be Catholics, so we adopt the linguistic register necessary to encourage real Catholics to avoid them.

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    6. Your observations are quite correct, my friend from North Carolina. The author of this blog frequently displays his contempt for people whom he considers beneath him, such as those who live in trailer parks or those who don't have as much money as he does, and mocks them continually on this site. This has been pointed out to him in the past as being a hate, classist and elitist stereotype, but he always just says that those are the types of people that attend these chapels that he dislikes. I don't know where he gets these ideas. Jesus loved the poor, and would have felt entirely comfortable being surrounded by people who live in trailers today, but the author of this blog can't seem to find any way to criticize the people who attend SGG other than by saying they are low-income and lower class.

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    7. Clearly you haven't read our many remarks that gainsay your assertion. As we have stated over and over, including our comment at 4:46 above, we criticize Gerties for their support of Dannie and Checkie, which enables those scumbags to keep operating.

      Decent people, whether of the upper, middle, or lower classes, would have withdrawn any assistance long ago after the shocking 2009 $GG $chool $candal. Therefore, those who remain and keep the cult afloat with financial and other assistance must be the lowest form of human existence, which for a largely American readership is best presented by the image of lowlife trailer trash, whether they live in a mobile home or a McMansion. The fact that the image we've chosen and the sociology of most of $GG may be identical does not at all mean we despise the unfortunate. The amorality of the Fans of Dan, not their social condition, is the object of our condemnation. The eloquent and well-educated NCTrad, we trust, understands the position.

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    8. We would add to the Reader's reply that we would characterize the Swampland enablers similarly, although the many of them either have large disposable incomes or come from far better stock than the hardscrabble Gerties. All one need do is glance at the social media pix of either the well-heeled adults going on mixed-sex scuba-diving expeditions or the middle-class-looking young men and women frolicking together in the waters a green lagoon to realize these people are several orders of social magnitude beyond the Gerts. Nevertheless, their support of Tradzilla earns them the same characterization and condemnation as their decidedly down-market fellow cultists in SW Ohio.

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  6. PL,

    Dolans "Corner" today doesn't mention a thing about the turnout on last Friday March 11. The bulletin says nothing about the menu for next Friday either. It talks about $ister $unday and selling tickets for a "split the pot" raffle and asking people to bake. Your right about Lent being a bust as $GG.

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    1. Thanks, 6:27, for drawing our attention to the new material.

      Yes, indeed, Wee Dan's unrealistic hope that the Gerties would "make plans to change their plans" won't be realized.

      We think the free food on Fridays may have been quietly canceled. The old crones who got suckered into fixing that disgusting menu of ravioli, beans, & mac 'n' cheese probably quit when nobody showed up on Mar. 3. All that starchy, greasy mess is most likely still rotting away in the fridge.

      BTW, Dannie's own words suggest we're right about the abrupt end of the Friday freebies. Concerning Mar. 17 he writes, "St. Patrick’s Day has an early Mass and Stations at 5 PM ." To us, the failure to plead for people to "come for something to eat and fortify yourself for Stations" speaks volumes.

      If Ma$$ is at 5, people who have to work won't be able to attend. He knows that. This is all a face-saving show. It'll just be the usual few wild-eyed dopes who attend, and he'll send 'em away without a crumb. So much for "Friday Nights in Lent" at $GG. It just might be that there'll be nothing on Mar. 24 & 31 in future bulletins.

      When will Dannie finally get the message that the Gerties have had it with him and the blundering Cheeseburger. Maybe he's already got it. Did you see Dan's practically begging the moms — "Just once a year, okay?"v— to send their children to this Wednesday's kiddie [re]collection day to hear his "nice story." (Is that the one about the $GG $chool child's wetting his pants because he wasn't allowed to go to the restroom, we wonder?)

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    2. Well, actually, all of that leftover slop in the fridge WON’T necessarily go to waste – at least the “mac and cheese.” What they can do with that is to continue BOILING DOWN that mushy slop to the point where it can be used by SGG’s students as cheddar-flavored SCHOOL GLUE.

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  7. I know you all are book smart but you need to sharpen your street smarts.
    I work one of those dreaded manual labor jobs that pay decent with good benefits.No I don't have an office job so I must be "rite-trash"
    The insults and descriptions of the laity are not correct.
    I work with some redneck types and these people wouldn't enter into any type of church,let alone a traditional type of catholic church.
    The modern redneck is atheist or literally pagan (a few wear pentagram shirts) with zero morals while detesting any type of Catholicism/orthodoxy.
    The modern redneck would most likely go into demonic spasms if forced to attend any type of catholic church.
    I know you all hate Dolan and don't think he is Catholic but you get my point.

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    1. First of all, let us tell you that we all respect labor, skilled and unskilled. And it's not your job that makes you rite-trash. Many so-called white-collar professionals fit that description.

      In the politest terms, we must beg to differ with you. Some of us have had experience working with and supervising authentic hillbilly religious trash, who go to church several times a week, yet get all drunked up and abuse their spouses and offspring.

      Yes, we're aware of the sub-class of which you write, but we can tell you that they have Doppelgängers who are just as low with respect to culture, linguistic deficits, and contempt for education but are strongly attracted to religious cults. Moreover, we have visited numerous traddie chapels over the years, and we never fail to identify a cadre of redneck religious zealots reminiscent of the snake handlers in the hollers.

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    2. Coming on the heels of “The Reader’s” response to NCTradCatholic’s comment, Anon. 1:02 PM’s comment is downright ANAL. Both comments, of course, were SANCTIMONIOUS DRIVEL, but Anon.’s drivel (by far) takes the BLUE RIBBON in that category. One could (conceivably) excuse NCTrad for his misguided barb (but we don’t, because we’ve seen his “willful misinterpretation” tactics before). But after “The Reader” set NCTrad straight, Anon. 1:02 PM has absolutely NO EXCUSE for repeating NCTrad’s blunder.

      Anon.’s depiction of rednecks is, at beast, ATYPICAL -- and at worst, PURE HOGWASH. Most of those who are atheist, pagan, or “with zero morals” are the “elitist” types, NOT rednecks. So, Anon.: NO, we do NOT get your point – and it is clear, in YOUR case, that you have NEITHER “book smarts” nor “street smarts.” In fact, about the only thing that you seem to have going for you is HYPOCRISY.

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    3. So my description of my co-workers and hometown are wrong?
      I know for a fact you don't live near me nor do we work at the same company?
      How can you tell me I'm wrong when you don't know or live with anyone I know?
      How am I hypocrite?
      All I did was describe my co-workers and 21st century rednecks.Calm down buddy you're getting worked up over nothing.
      Dominus Vobiscum

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  8. Job status does not make the individual, nor does it give him so called Cla$$; nor does putting a miter on an idiot make him a Bishop.

    You can dress up a pig, but a pig it will always be.

    However, Character in any position is what distinguishes the Truthful from the deceitful.



    IT is quite obvious that P.L. is hitting the nail on the head and warning ALL decent, hard working Catholics not to be deceived, and led into the pit of NO $ALVATION OUT$IDE OF THE CULT MA$TER$ CENTER$.

    IF we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at?





    I find this blog one of the best on the internet. To begin with, THE READER is not your "average bear", and I think most of the HIGH HATS know it and fear him.



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    1. I'd have to agree with the character of any position.

      I feel sorry for the children in these places; they don't have a choice in matters. It saddens me to see that they continue to believe that their is no salvation outside of Sanborn/Dolan. These groups are even passing along that CMRI is evil. It is so disheartening that people are trusting Sanborn/Dolan as the ultimate Catholic authorities.

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    2. The history of the cult masters is so well known that only the thoroughly depraved could still follow, believe in, and support them. For instance, most of the Gerties witnessed first hand the events of the 2009 $GG $chool $candal so they cannot plead ignorance and thus have earned condemnatiion equal to that heaped upon Dannie. In truth, they deserve a larger share because they enable these men to keep operating.

      We understand that many people want to stay at $GG because it reminds them of a Catholic church. Few of us like assisting at Mass in a private home or a hotel meeting room or a rented store front. The irony is here is that had they acted morally and walked out 7 years ago, Dannie would have caved. He probably would have gotten rid of Tony Baloney and the "Principal" just to save his own skin. And he would have mended his ways if the folks had set that as a condition.

      Now, however, as a consequence of hard-core Gerties' willful moral blindness, the SW Ohio cult center is teetering on the edge of collapse. The declining participation that Dannie often laments tells us they themselves are losing enthusiasm for the cult, which cannot long continue if they don't get involved in all the other revenue generating activities besides $unday Ma$$. Consequently, their own immorality will take from them the very thing for which they betrayed Christian principles in 2009-2010.

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  9. Well, Well, Well! I came across the Picture of One Hand Dan taken back in 1993 in all his Episcopal Finery.

    I will cite the quote that he had printed on the back of his " RELIC CARD".

    "May Thy hand be strengthened and Thy right hand be lifted up. May justice and judgement be the foundation of Thy throne"--Rite of Consecration

    Wow! I leave this for anyone that would like to comment on all the hands that are mentioned, including the one that was forgotten to be placed upon his head for a valid ordination into the priesthood.

    Have fun!

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    1. We hope the comments come rollin' in!

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    2. Meantime I will enjoy an apple!

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    3. Speaking of pictures, I remember a photo taken of Dannie when he was made a “Bishop(?)” (LOL). He posed for the picture in all his Episcopal finery, of course. One of his hands was resting on an open book (why, I don’t know, because he wasn’t even LOOKING at it, but instead, staring off into the sunset); and his other hand was situated in such a way as to prominently display his “bishop’s(?) ring (LOL again!) on his finger (to make him look more "impressive," no doubt). And he had this sort of whimsical half-smile on his face (as if to say, “Boy, aren’t I splendorous! The culties will really be impressed, huh?”).

      The book was obviously meant as a PROP to make Dannie look more “studious.” But it actually made him look more RIDICULOUS, because – as said before – he wasn’t even looking at it! (However, if Dannie had had a CRAYON in one of his hands, the book might have looked more “appropriate.”) It’s amazing: the more Dannie tries to make himself look "erudite," the more he looks like an IDIOT. As Anon. 9:27 PM so rightly put it, “You can dress up a pig, but a pig it will always be.”

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    4. Have you tried burning crayon?

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    5. A perfect illustration of how phony the cult masters are: Deficit Dan caught in a moment of quiet reflection while deep in study. Ha, ha, ha! Did any body check to see if the book on his lap is upside down?

      In the real world, a man would become a laughing stock if he posed for such a portrait. But in Tradistan, that kind of adolescent theatricality goes unpunished.

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  10. Reader:

    It is a prop!

    Right side up, upside down, makes no difference to him. He makes it up as he goes.
    Didn't you know, that he declared it a MORTAL SIN for anybody to attend an Una Cum Mass. This maniac is a legend in his own mind.
    Unfortunately, there is no help for his blind followers who want their minds controlled.

    A good Catholic I thought, was supposed to surrender his Free Will to God's and not man's.

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    1. Yes, we recently heard that Dannie had declared assisting at an una-cum Mass a mortal sin, and we laughed ourselves silly. He's gone off the deep end for sure with that stupidity. Unfortunately, his ignorant and non-Catholic followers believe he's got the power to make such a declaration.

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    3. Speaking of non- and una-cum ... do the Doppelgangster actually use the formula recommended by P. Guérard des Lauriers whom they cite as an authority in the matter? I don't think so.

      An excerpt from the Frère's Christus novum instituit Pascha se ipsum ab Ecclesia per sacerdotes sub signis visibilibus immolandum (1980) in a quick and rough translation (my English is a little rusty these days):

      The priest may leave out the whole formula "una cum ..." or he may not mention a name. In this way, it is alleged, one does not introduce any change [as in the proposed form]: "una cum Sede apostolica". One acts as if the Apostolic See were vacant. However that may actually be, if one acts in a way as if the See were vacant, even though the vacancy has not been officially declared, then, in regards to Canon Law, one contracts just the same irregularity [...]. If one omits the "una cum..." wholly or in part, even though the canonical clause has not been fulfilled, it equals an arbitrary omission in the Canon [of the Mass].

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    4. We all know that the una-cum bugbear is a marketing ploy, and has nothing to do with ecclesiology.

      The cult masters are painfully aware that the majority of their attendees would head straight for the nearest SSPX chapel unless they had some way to keep them and their money at the cult.

      As for the charge of arbitrariness, it means nothing to the men who repressed the Leonine Prayers and substitute their own paraliturgical fancies.

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  11. Did anybody else notice what Dolan said "as pastor I am so gratified and grateful to all who gave ..." Does that mean the free pancake breakfast was paid for by donors? If true, then Dolan didn't have to sacrifice anything for $ocial $unday. Who then is paying for the ravioli, mac and cheese, and beans on Fridays?

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    1. Yes, we saw that. Although it could mean "gave of their time" or some such expansion, we are inclined to believe it refers to those who underwrote the experiment. The cult masters are so strapped for cash, it's hard to imagine their letting go of one thin dime, let alone the amount of money it would take to feed everyone free flapjacks.

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    2. HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY.

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