PRESENT HELP IN TIME OF TROUBLE

Come on, baby, and rescue me. Aretha Franklin

Drifting in like a malodorous cloud of atomized effluvia on a current of thickly oppressive, swampland hot air, the MHT Newsletter made its unwelcome July appearance last week. It’s one of the most shoddily written and spiritless missives ever to issue from the rector’s doubtlessly expensive word processor. It appears as though no one bothered to give the piece a moment’s thought (or a quick proofreading). The Readers were mildly amused by the gauchely impolite “Both I and Fr. Selway,” and we howled with laughter at the phrase “Fr. Adam Cyr, desirous of living a more hermetic life.” Unless that priest really wanted to be sealed in an airtight compartment to escape the laity, the correct word is hermitic, or eremitic. (This is the kind of howling blunder that Anthony Cekada makes; that’s why no literate reader can tolerate Work of Human Hands. Ah, well! As they say, birds of a feather….)

In addition to all the thigh-slapping linguistic gaffes, the July screed suggests why the rector hasn’t delivered us of his promised, big $30K proposal. Just look at this quote: “we are very hopeful and confident that our relationship to [Our Lady of the Sun Chapel, Arizona] will become permanent.” The chapel, irrevocably split by an internecine court struggle between the former pastor and the board, still has an enviably healthy bank account as well as some prime acreage, in spite of the legal fees.

Yes, of course, we have heard over and over again from those close to the chapel that the lay board now running the place won’t turn over the funds or the deed to the considerable property holdings to the rector. However, very few traditionalist laymen are up to resisting the cash-starved, hell-fire-invoking rector: he is relentlessly single-minded in his pursuit of money for his pet projects.

Once the rector and his pesthouse pals get their foot firmly in the door of that poor, little, rich chapel, we fear the game will be over. The rector is firmly opposed to lay governance and will immediately begin to undermine the board’s authority. Therefore, we ask you to come to the assistance of Our Lady of the Sun. Contact Peter Reiss of the lay board and beg him NOT to make the chapel’s relationship with MHT and its priests permanent. Remind him that in May the rector pledged to bring forth a plan to get his hands on an additional $30,000 a year and then, all of a sudden, there was silence. He knew that “One-Hand Dan’s” cult members would never give him that kind of money. (Neither would "One Hand," for that matter.) Warn Mr. Reiss and the whole board that the rector may have targeted Our Lady of the Sun chapel to make up for the shortfall caused by the flight of former benefactors. Here’s the contact info we have:

P.O. Box 981

Scottsdale AZ 8525

rockyreiss@gmail.com

ACT NOW TO RESCUE OUR LADY OF THE SUN & MAKE SURE THE PESTHOUSE CLOSES!