Saturday, March 12, 2016

BUEN VIAJE

If an ass goes traveling he'll not come home a horse. Fuller's Gnomologia

As any veteran traveler will attest, a costly vacation beyond America's borders yields more than memories of fine dining on "copious quantities of meat." It clears the cobwebs from your brain. It emboldens you. It liberates you from responsibilities at home. But most of all, it renews your resolve to keep on traveling.

His Vagrancy is proof of these positive effects. Look what a change a few days of leisure tourism in the middle of Lent has wrought for Dannie! A week or two ago, the Dirtbag furtively escaped to sunny, fast-mitigated México lindo without so much as a squeak until he was safely over the border.

Amazingly, he returned completely transformed. Gone is the self-conscious fear of confessing yet another frightful waste of the laity's scarce resources. No more faint-hearted, after-the-fact excuses. No, Sir!  He'll brook no restraint henceforth.  Just look how His Insistency put the penny-pinching Gerties on notice in last week's "Bishop's (?) Corner":
Thank you for your prayers for my Mexican trip, which went very well. These are always tiring but energizing affairs. We have so much at St. Gertrude the Great. It’s good to get out each month and share the wealth. Of course, thanks to the wonders of modern communication, this can be and is, done every day. “The word goes forth.” God bless the angels of the internet. “Unto all the earth.” Still, we should be sensible of all we do have, and of all those souls who don’t, and show ourselves generous and grateful.
In case you missed the point of the above "Declaration of the Wandering Rights of Dan," we'll deconstruct this monument to effrontery.  Dannie's feeling exhilarated from this last trip abroad. It's been a while since he got out of town, and he's pretty p.o.'d that the cultlings have made him feel self-conscious about the huge expenses he's racked up. As you can read for yourself, he's sick of inventing pious excuses. From now on, Dan's going to "get out each month" so he can "share the [Gerties'] wealth."

That means there's likely to be a whole lot of foreign travel as Wee Dan "goes forth" on a regular basis, whether the dirty Gerties like it or not. Awaiting Dan the Travelin' Man is a big, wide world of vacation adventure "[u]nto all the earth," or, at least, unto Mexico and the southern hemisphere.

His Itinerancy is no arm-chair sojourner who gets his kicks from browsing the 'Net or thumbing through glossy travel brochures. The SGG zombies better realize (= "should be sensible") that he hasn't been wandering as much as he used to. Therefore, the time's come for them to be "generous and grateful," that is to say, "generous and grateful" to His Spendthriftiness and his posse: The SGG "clergy" don't have everything they think they're entitled to.

To show the cheapskates he means business, "One Hand"put the Gerties' money where his mouth is. As soon as he laid down the new rules, he wrote,
But this week is not so quiet for Fr. McKenna, who travels to Quito, Ecuador for Mass and a Conference on true Catholicism. Please pray for our missionary who is trading the frozen north for the elevated Andes.
Isn't he marvelously bold as brass? Why, it's almost heroic. No explanation where the money's coming from. From the "bishop's" fund? Or perhaps from the Ecuadoran hosts? Ummmm, how about from Uneven-Steven's piggy bank? Nope. Radio silence. No justification at all. Not even a few words about the conference so as to sweeten another budget-bustin' South American trip for the tapped-out Gerties. Just an in-your-face ultimatum.

Now that's standing tough in front of the uppity laity. You go, Dannie!

With his newly found assertiveness, "One Hand" should strongly consider a little vacation getaway for Checkie Cheeseball so he can take his mind off all those failed videos he's been making. Whenever the Blunderer puts one out, Messrs. Salza and Siscoe brilliantly trash him. The latest imbecility — the one Wee Dan referenced in the same "Corner" — has already been thoroughly debunked. (Click here to read an adroitly written reply to Checkie's spastic mummery.)

It's critical: Dannie's got to get Erroneous Antonius out of Dodge, pronto. Trad Nation knows the Blunderer is incapable of producing a sober, well-articulated response in edited English prose with unified, coherent, and structured paragraphs. You don't need a therapist to tell you there's a limit to how many times a petty narcissist's opponents can have him for lunch before he wigs out in the face of their superior intelligence, educational attainment, and argumentative skill.

The question is, where should the Checkmeister go? He's not sophisticated enough for Latin America,  Europe, or Australia and New Zealand. And Dannie's not going to let this pilgrim mosey on out to chic and artsy Santa Fe all by his little ol' lonesome. Nor can "One Hand" send him home to Milwaukee because John "The Lawman" Salza is the new theological sheriff there, and he doesn't cotton to malformed riffraff in his town.

So, with all that superabundant Gertie "wealth, where can Bonehead Tone go to lick the wounds to his out-sized ego?

Our suggestion is Nigeria so he can visit "Father" Nkamuke and his lone seminarian du jour, but maybe those of you in cyberspace have something better in mind. Give us your suggestions in the comments section. Be creative and don't worry about the expense. Since they "have so much at St. Gertrude the Great," the Gerties will foot the bill.

His Improvidency will make sure they do.

67 comments:

  1. Is there a space shuttle going to Mars soon?

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  2. If there isn't, I'd be content with the moon.

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    1. I'd be content with that ONE STEP BEYOND, with no portal back from that unknown dimension. God only knows what they would to The Martians or the Man in the Moon.

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  3. Maybe Dannie would split the difference and head off to Valle de la Luna, Argentina. He can take Tony to use it as backdrop for his next otherworldly video flop.

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    1. Valle de la Luna is an interesting place. Even the "spitballs" are fascinating!

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  4. Doesn't he take a break to Florida every month? In our age, he could "Skype" to teach the seminarians, but he uses the money to go to Sunny Florida, no?

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    1. Yes, he needs his getaways, too, where he thinks he can play the great scholar. The problem is, the "seminarians" and the other "professors" laugh at him behind his back.

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    2. How about sending Checkie to CMRI's seminary as a "visiting scholar"? Checkie has a fan base at CMRI - they are just right for each other.

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    3. A very good suggestion. If he leaves "teaching" at MHT and goes to Mater Dei for a spell, the collective IQ of both "seminaries" will improve.

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  5. Who is the Nigerian being taught?

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    1. According to "One-Hand" Dan, the new guy's name is Trypho. We suppose he'll hang around as long as Dannie can persuade the Gerties to send him some cash. Then when he finds something better, he'll take off and a new "seminarian" will take his place. This can go on for years.

      Here's what Dan wrote in full:

      Speaking of seminarians, our dear Abraham is no longer pursuing studies for the priesthood. Pray for him as he seeks God’s Holy Will. Thank you for your contributions for his Burse. A new and promising young man, Trypho, has been with Father since Summer, and hopes to enter the Seminary in Fall. Your contributions to Fr. Nkamuke’s mission mean very much to him and his faithful.

      We'll wait for the announcement of his entry and then of his expulsion.

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  6. All of this as the urgent plea letter for the HVAC system has gone out to one and all. I get the part where the ramshackle beast is 13 years old, but I've never heard of duct work having to be replaced at such a young age. What's up with that?

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    1. The dump was shoddily built in the first place, and many observers at the time said it was a "20-year" structure, meaning that was its lifetime.

      However, the new duct work stunned us so much that we asked some engineers about it. They had no answer either. One of them said that maybe the first was inadequate so they have to re-do the whole thing to accommodate the new equipment.

      What a waste of money.

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    3. Same builder for both SGG and mht, correct?

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    4. Here is an old article discussing roof repairs because of Cekada's planning and thinking he is smarter than engineers: http://thelaypulpit.blogspot.com/2013_05_01_archive.html?m=1 .

      He has also claimed to know better than a doctor (example, Terrie Schiavo case) and also knows more about law than a lawyer (siscoe and salsa reference). Is there anyone this man is not smarter than?

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    5. Yes, Anon Mar. 13, 6:41 PM, the same general contractor.

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    6. SGG is built with a fake Facade on the outside as well as on the inside,in more way than one.

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    7. How right you are! SGG's fake facade in its physical structure is (in a deeply mysterious yet significant way) a symbol and typefaction of its FAKE facade of Catholic teaching and practice.

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    8. That's the American style now isn't it? Fake facades, walls and everything.

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    9. Keeping on point: especially fake traditional Catholic priests, fake theologians/liturgists/canonists, fake seminaries.

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  7. Poor old Tony Baloney looks such a pathetic old thing these days. With his impotent performance in the ever more absurd videos and considering his views on euthanasia surely the best thing is to send him on a one way trip to a Swiss clinic? With Checkie out of the way One Hand would be free to get younger blood in to provide necessary services to him and the Gerties.

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    1. A charitable suggestion. Surely the Gerties would be willing to sell their first born to pay the enormous expenses if Dannie backs the plan.

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  8. Stop kissing siscoe and salza's behind so much.
    I say this as a sympathetic lost catholic like everyone else these days.I could care less about the men you write about,nor have I ever met them.
    G-d bless you all have a blessed week.

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    1. If the HVAC system needs new ductwork, the original job was certainly botched badly. Ductwork does not “wear out,” and should therefore NOT need replacing. If it does, that means that it was inadequately designed and/or installed. What a catastrophe! (Or, it could also be that new is NOT needed, and that Dannie wants the extra money for “something else.”) But, whatever the case may be, it’s downright criminal that they’re asking for money to fix something that is only thirteen years old.

      As far as what Tony’s next travel destination should be, our suggestion is the graveyard where Terri Schiavo is buried, and that he pack along some sackcloth and ashes to wear – but don’t bother about bringing along any FOOF or WATER. Let him find out how it feels to go without either for a week or two. (Actually, we liked Anon. March 12, 6:09 P.M.’S suggestion about Mars, except that it should be a ONE WAY trip.)

      And, in response to Anon. March 13, 6:27 P.M., it is not “kissing someone’s behind” to give him credit for arguing his point correctly. Whether one agrees with Siscoe and Salza or not, their reasoning was far superior to Cheesball’s. (And, by the way, the correct expression is, “I COULDN’T care less,” not “could.”)

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    2. Anon. Mar. 13, 6:27 PM

      When people do a good job, they deserve a hearty pat on the back. And S & S have performed brilliantly in exposing Checkie's inadequacy as a participant in the discussion.

      We invite you to give credit where credit is due.

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    3. Are you the same one who has been writing "G-d" on other posts as well? What's up with this Jewish thing?

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    4. Jews???What are you talking about?

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    5. Many people write 'G-d',we walk among you.

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    6. I have seen that the Talmudic Jews like Skorka and the other buddies of Bergoglio write God as "G-d".

      I've never seen any Saint or any Catholic for that matter, write God like that.

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    7. That's wonderful thank you for responding.

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    8. I believe it has to do with the custom or idea that, in the Old Testament, God's name was not uttered out of respect, but I don't think this has ever been the case from the New Testament onwards, which is why I say that I have only seen Talmudic Jews do this.

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    9. Anon. 6:27, are you also 1:47, 1:49 and 2:14?

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    10. 10-4 on the 10-20

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    11. So where did you get spelling "G-d" from?

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    12. Honestly I don't quite know.Seems like It someone in my social circle 25 years ago.
      Now that I think about it,he was a noahide.So,you're right it is a Jewish habit.
      With that said,I have seen other people do the same thing.Not being sarcastic,I just can't remember where that became a habit.

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  9. OK, so then, Anon 6:27PM, you're here because___??

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    1. Same reason everyone else is here,what's the problem?
      Secondly I wasn't being rude nor do I have malice toward your boys Siscoe & Salza.
      Hope you all have a safe blessed week.

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  10. How tall is Checkie? 6'2", 6'3"?

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  11. Something like that. He thinks he's intimidating. (LOL)

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    1. Well, unless you're the same height or more, or you're shorter but physically strong, he should be.

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    2. Checkie intimidates NO ONE - except for his wilfully blind culties who idolise him. I stand less than 6 feet, not physically strong, but Checkie does NOT intimidate me one bit. I don't worship or hero-worship him. Neither should you nor any one else.

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    3. Why is it that in this day and age, most people will think you do something you never said you did? Did I ever said I either worship or hero worship him or anything of the sort? You can clearly tell from my posts that I don't even support him, so why would you think that?

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  12. A man is not measured by his height, he is measured by his worth.

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    1. Well said. Therefore, Cheeseball = 0.

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    2. Yeah, and who was implying Checkie's worth was being measured by his height?

      I simply asked because he looked tall in some pictures compared to other people, so I wanted to know if he really was tall or if the other person was short.

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    3. When the Checkmeister and Dannie stand together, they look like Mutt and Jeff, the "two mismatched tinhorns" from the funny pages of yore. Google the images -- the resemblance is uncanny!

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  13. Hey Readers, would it be possible for you to post some pictures of some pages of your copy of WHH, to see all the highlighting? That would be funny.

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    1. We marked it up in pencil and pen. but it's a good idea. Maybe our tech guru can see if we can post it to our scribd page.

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    3. Oh, I thought you had used highlighters besides pen or pencil. It should be interesting anyway.

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    4. When we began the project, the highlighting was bleeding through to the previous page, so we settled on pencils and the occasional pen. The problem is that the marks are generally light and don't show up well when we scan them. We'll let our techie work on the problem when she gets back to town.

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  14. What I don't understand is why Sanborn and Cekada spend so much time doing Internet videos, talks, and interviews. It is almost as though they think they are as smart as, if not more intelligent than, St. Thomas Aquinas. I can't figure out if it is pride or the desire for something else. From Cekada's snarky comments, it definitely seems like pride. Sanborn's interviews and published talks seem more like he desires to put others down so that he appears more intelligent.

    So, what is it?

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    1. Big Don's huffing 'n' puffing only work now on the cultlings and those uninformed sycophants at TRR. That's his only audience so he has to play to type and put everyone down with a sneer.

      The trouble is that when you look beyond that shallow pool of nitwits, no one else buys the masquerade. To the literate and informed, he's nothing but a clown, bluffing his way through the interviews in the hope that someone will throw him a few coins.

      Our explanation for the behavior of both these outcasts is FEAR: they're scared to death their own people will soon get wise to them.

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  15. They are jockeying for position to see who is going to be left standing as KING OF THE HILL. To the winner goes the $$$$$$$$$$ and the perks of bearing the title of Grand Master of Traddieville. A very lucrative title today!

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    1. You may have hit the nail on the head, Anon. Mar. 16, 6:45 PM. Resources in Tradistan are shrinking, and each one is trying to outdo the other as the Trad public intellectual.

      Now that S & S have kicked Checkie to the curb, the title's waiting for Big Don to claim it for himself. He doesn't have it yet, and that spanking he got from S & S a couple weeks ago has set him back. However, if he lies low until the well-whipped Cheeseball crawls off, he'll be the last dunce standing ready to separate the brain dead from their family's precious savings.

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  16. What do you readers think about Feeneyism? You all reject it right?

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    1. On a separate note, if the Dimonds (or the St Benedict Center members) were to debate or slug it out with Checkie, I expect that they would make mincemeat out of Checkie. This is not to say that the Dimonds (or the SBC) are doctrinally sound on the question of baptism of desire. Just a question of who's tougher when it comes to a brawl.

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    2. They would not. Their error would be exposed within 2 minutes.

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    3. Checkie wouldn't be able to argue without throwing in a slew of ad hominem remarks. So, although he would have truth on his side, his adolescent, slangy, argumentative tactics would make him appear to lose.

      For this and other reasons, orthodox trads need to tell the Cheeseball to keep his sub-educated mouth shut and let adults do the debating. And since he won't do that, they just should ignore him.

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    4. If I remember correctly, Checkie once said that he was known as a controversialist. (He obviously thinks highly of himself.)

      But he reminds me of something basic mentioned by St. Francis de Sales (from his Introduction to the Devout Life) - that the falsely devout make devotion and piety appear as unattractive and blameworthy to the enemies of religion.

      In other words: the truth and beauty of Catholicism suffer at the hands of spokesmen like Checkie. The Church would be better served if Checkie were to be a Carthusian monk, living a life of prayer, penance and perpetual SILENCE. Failing that, he should be under adult supervision.

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    5. Well said. One of the aims of our apostolate is to work toward making sure that everyone doesn't listen to him. That's the next best thing to silence.

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    6. Not that I'm recommending it or anything, but just out of curiosity, have you ever thought about praying for that very specific thing? That Cekada may go mute or stop writing altogether?

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  17. This is one of my favorite posts: http://pistrinaliturgica.blogspot.com/2010/06/mad-tea-party.html

    How could Checkie do such a thing? How could he think his book would be taken seriously with all that?

    Well, I suppose the answer is, he can't help himself and that's just how he really is.

    I don't think he's ever been able to write something WITHOUT the use of such colloquialisms.

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    1. The SW Ohio-Brooksville cult is a hermetically sealed world of its own. It's a mutual admiration society made up of equally malformed wannabes who tell each other lies about how awesome they all are. With that kind of feedback, it's understandable how a pathetic creature like Checkie could imagine that others outside his moron circle could take him seriously.

      In the untrained minds of those "clerical" aliens to academic life, adolescent snark tarted up in colloquialisms and clichés passes for tightly structured discourse. And that's why Dannie masks Checkie's deficiencies of expression by claiming he writes in a popular, entertaining style for the masses.

      While the sede troglodytes may snort with porcine delight at such slop, the savvy human beings outside the cult recognize that Checkie's colloquialisms are smokescreen to conceal a genuine inability to write architectonic prose in an appropriate vocabulary register.

      Cheesey, who is not entirely without the rudimentary self-awareness that every social pariah has, understands this weakness. That's why he will never dare respond to Salza and Siscoe in writing. He dreads the subsequent side-by side comparison of his incompetent effort with these gentlemen's engaging professionalism. Therefore, he'll stay put on YouTube embarrassing the cult with his amateurish videos until the money-bled Gerties put to a stop to it.

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